Q. My Boyfriend's Doll: I have a boyfriend of two years with a weird hobby. He has a mannequin he's kept since college, named "Barbara." I discovered her existence when we'd been seeing each other for over a year. He spends a significant amount of money for her maintenance and talks to it like a real person. When he comes home from a trip he kisses her and tells her he missed her. He sleeps next to her at night when I'm not there and basically treats her like a second girlfriend. I've asked him to get rid of it and his responses range from either ignoring what I've said, telling me he'll do it later, or pleading me to understand how important she is to him. He definitely has some kind of an emotional attachment to it. If it was a childhood blanket or even a teddy bear I wouldn't care so much, but having a life-sized, real-looking doll is just too much. We've fought over it so much he gets angry whenever I bring her up and says I'm being petty and jealous over a doll. Who's in the right here? Is this worth giving up an otherwise excellent relationship?

A: You would think one of the advantages of having a mannequin for a girlfriend is that the money needed to preserve her looks is minuscule. But Barbara sounds pretty high maintenance. Ryan Gosling starred in a movie, Lars and the Real Girl, which I had no desire to see, about a guy like your boyfriend who eventually gets everyone to accept his sex doll as his girlfriend. But your boyfriend is not so devoted to Barbara. There he is, cruelly leaving her at home, while he goes out on the town with you, and locking her in the broom closet when you spend the night. I'm trying to imagine the moment, a year into your relationship, when you discovered he was cheating on you with a life-sized doll. I am wondering how you managed not to run screaming into the night when your boyfriend finally introduced you to his love. Your boyfriend points out how petty you sound fighting with him over his feelings for a department-store mannequin. He has a point. There is no limit to the human capacity for kinkiness, and he's committed to his fetish. But you sound nuttier than he is by throwing jealous fits over Barbara. It was unfair of him to keep his obsession hidden while you two developed your relationship. That relationship may be "otherwise excellent" but excellence seems like an odd concept when your boyfriend is sleeping with a mannequin when you're not sharing his bed. If you choose to stay, then you're the one who has to accept that your boyfriend will likely never change, and neither will Barbara.