New member and wife of doll owner

doctorb · Post by **doctorb** » Tue Feb 03, 2015 6:12 pm

I am the wife of a doll owner. My husband and I have been together for over twenty years. He had been married to his first wife for the same amount of time and became divorced because of his extraordinary sex drive.
I was aware of his sexual appetite before we were married, and though it did not cause the same friction as with his ex-wife, sex at least twice a day was something I was having a hard time dealing with, especially when I became premenopausal and experienced extreme pain with the sex act. The masturbatory aids arrived a few years ago, and while some of them were downright funny, the arrival of the DS doll was not.
Initially, I think my husband’s intentions were to keep her a secret from me. While I am the primary bread winner and he works from home, had she/it arrived without my knowledge I would have gone beyond ballistic.
As a young girl I hated dolls. In fact, I used to perform surgical operations on them, which no doubt led in part to my current career. So having this giant doll in the house has been a hard pill to swallow on a number of levels.
At first I was confused. Was this satisfying some sort of latent pedophilia? Necrophilia? While I was assured by my husband it was none of those, I was skeptical.
The second phase of jealousy soon arrived. Where was my husband? He had become completely smitten with his new doll and was brushing her hair, or having sex with her at every possible moment. She got clothes for Christmas while I got dishtowels. I soon became transfixed with figuring out this new interloper in our marriage. I secretly filmed them and became the consummate voyeur. When I saw him kissing the doll- I came unglued and really lost it. I was hurt beyond all measure and wanted to die. What was wrong with me as his object of desire?
After he reassured me that it is “Just a doll; And is only an aid to masturbation.” I quieted down a bit. He urged me to join this forum and I did as a lurker. The forum hasn’t really helped because I read from everyone’s posts that these dolls really are almost the equivalent of a female partner. I know my husband is no different in that regard, this doll is no fleshlight.
I did not get to the point of saying it’s the doll or me. I wanted to. But I love my husband and want him to be happy. And if living with a doll in the closet, is what it takes- so be it. I will learn to deal with it and I am trying to embrace his new hobby.
On the positive side, her arrival was a wakeup call for me to reassess the person I have become. While I was pretty when younger, I no longer felt that way. Time and gravity take their toll on anyone and anything, and on older women especially so. I was no different. I have started taking the time to address my own appearance and that has helped make me feel better about myself, which is the biggest sexual stimulation for any woman- to feel desirable.
Watching my husband fucking his doll is also disturbingly erotic. It has reignited my own sex drive, and fortunately, age and menopause have erased the pain and my only request to my husband is that he must do to me what he does to her. Because of the doll’s fragility, my husband has also has changed his sexual technique- which has also become more pleasurable.
So for anyone who is married and is thinking about getting a doll, my advice would be do not keep it a secret from your wife if you value your marriage. Give your wife kisses on the neck or cuddle with her in bed- not as a prelude to any sexual advances. Tell your wife she is beautiful and show her the attention and respect that all of you do to your dolls, and hopefully it will all work out.

SiliconeWorld · Post by **SiliconeWorld** » Tue Feb 03, 2015 9:01 pm

Hello and welcome to the TDF, DOCTORB!

Always good to have a female's perspective and yours is interesting. First you love your husband and are looking to allow his freedom to explore satisfying his 'needs' with his 'doll'. Very understanding, supportive and open minded of you.

You mentioned your first concern was the doll's arrival was 'unexpected'. Understandable, communication would have been a good idea. Would have hedged off the hurt, jealousy and mistrust. Appears that you have an open mind along with a devotion to your husband's extraordinary sex needs. Your mentioning of being premenopausal gives an insight to your reasoning ( again understanding)

Doesn't seem like your husband wants to go outside the marriage , it is just the introduction of his doll without discussing it with you first led to jealousy. The attention he is paying to 'her' (the doll) can be disconcerting for you indeed. Feelings of being 'cheated' or longing that he would do that for/with you .

When you spent your time lurking around the TDF and seeing that some people use their 'dolls' as a suregat
partner is true for those who do not already have a committed relationship with a real woman. These 'dolls' improve one's quality if life, break up the boredom from being lonely. That does not seem to be the case with you. He just wants to use it to BOINK.

Your honesty when you talk about watching him BOINK-ing 'her' , discovering it was 'disturbingly erotic' is good. Even though it is disturbing you are somewhat fascinated,drawn by it, maybe? Maybe, there is a new avenue to explore WITH your husband?

Sounds like a good opportunity for you two to sit and have an open and frank conversation. Iron out ant concerns you may have, let him know how you feel, and possibly discuss his spending some time pampering you(as you witnessed he had done with the doll).

Sounds like it is a wonderful relationship with have with your husband (hi put that is only what can be deduced from you post). Iron out the feelings of the doll 'just appearing ' so-to-speak, along with the few other things you had mentioned and things will be fine. It does not appear he wants another female partner as much as he just wants to satisfy his 'extraordinary desires'.

Look forward to your future posts and you opinions.

LaDollyVita · Post by **LaDollyVita** » Tue Feb 03, 2015 11:09 pm

Howdy, Doc. Yours is an opinion we don't get to hear often, that being the wife of a doll owner; at least not on the forum anyway. The annual TDF meet-up is a different story though, as we usually have 2-3 wives attend there with their hubbies. We do have several married members that post regularly here, and the few I know best are open with their wives. We've got a few gents hiding a secret from their wives also. I think your advice to all was spot-on though.

Regarding relationships with dolls, I think in the absence of a wife many of us find comfort having a doll as a companion to take the edge off of loneliness. For married men, it seems to boil down to libido. Dolls are great to relieve sexual tension, and you never have to worry about where that need is being addressed. Dolls are really quite therapeutic I think.

Thanks for posting a few of your thoughts. Best wishes to you and your husband.

Post by **Slew** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 1:20 am

Hello, doctorb. Welcome!

Yours is likely the most interesting introductory post I've ever read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

I can't help but wonder, is the voyeurism still in secret? Privacy is already so obscure these days, as it is.

I am not judging you, though.. I have fantasized about erotic surveillance at times in the past, however, I always felt guilty after thinking those thoughts, so I never acted on it.

DR K · Post by **DR K** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 10:30 am

Welcome doctorb. My wife and I agreed to get ours first doll so she was good with it from the start. She considers her "her altalternate ego" She loves brushing her hair, dressing her, buying clothes for her, posing her and taking pics of her. I was more difficult for me to do her infront of my wife than for my wife. She actually really likes to watch and and sometimes gets her own toy while it is happening. She has NO jealousy because she gets involved and my wife still gets allot of attention. The second doll we talked about getting but I placed the order without telling her the day I did it. When she arrived that was difficult, but within 2 weeks she felt the same as the first. She loves to get involved, I.E. we were at the mall and passed Fredrick of Hollywood and she said the girls need some outfits, so she shopped and $300 later we walked out. That night she had a great time dressing them and taking pics, and then she helped get one in the bed and posed for me and she loved to watch. The point is get involved, buy clothes, brush her hair and since you already enjoy watching it will get even better. Don't think of her as competition, have fun with her also.

Alottahope · Post by **Alottahope** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:53 am

Hello Doctorb. I'd like to push the like button a hundred times! I'm so glad you are in the acceptance phase of dolls in the house. I waited to tell my wife for sometime because I did not know how even I was gonna feel about it. Well turns out. I really like haveing dolls. Yes plural! It has become a regular hobbie for me to photograph these beautiful creations. Before a year ago. I had little interest in photography. Now it seems I've been ignited into this realm. When I told her and showed her what I was doing with the dolls, she immediately got hooked on the possibilities. Now same as DR K we shop for the dolls together and share ideas. These dolls have been a really nice addition to our marriage. Without them life was fine. I will always love my wife. We share so much joy in life together, now the dolls are just one more of life's pleasures to enhance the whole experience.

Here is a photo of one of my dolls Roxxanne.

Post by **netwit** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 12:21 pm

DR K wrote:Welcome doctorb.

Oh, cool; a doctor's conference.

Dr. Doll: Colleagues, may I take zis opportunity to offer my obzervations, yes?
One of my patients, a zertain Mr. Netwit, describes his zituation as zuch:

patient Netwit wrote:
had she/it arrived without my knowledge I would have gone beyond ballistic.
It was specifically the fear of Mrs. Netwit going ballistic that I decided to tell her that I wanted a doll, rather then try to hide it. I'm so glad I did.
Your hubbie was right, in a way, to suggest checking out the forum; but IMO he failed to provide some guidance to topics/threads that would be pertinent to couples. This topic you've started is a perfect example.
(Note to self: Section for couples?).

Omitting the part about how I found my way here (another story), I used this forum to show my wife examples of normal people owning dolls.
In the weeks preceding my request, I pointed out some really thoughtful topics, some amazing doll art, and some colorful members.
So when I asked, there was a precedent; it wasn't a total surprise for her.
Since then, I've indulged fully in the doll hobby: staged picture shoots; attended doll meets; became part of the forum staff; bought and sold a few dolls, etc.
My wife is OK with all of this; she's even attended the last couple of Doll meets. As you suggested I've always showered her with love and attention; she knows she's not in any competition.

And yes, some of us don't regard our dolls as surrogates. I consider my dolls primarily as art, as I get the most pleasure from the doll shoots; and secondarily as just sex toys, fancy ones, but just that, toys.
My emotional attachment is similar to the one I had for my '85 Mustang GT convertible.

Post by **Nescio50** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 12:25 pm

doctorb wrote:She got clothes for Christmas while I got dishtowels.

I do hope this will change

Fancy clothes for the both of you

mexdl · Post by **mexdl** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 1:10 pm

interesting reading.
Its nice to know "another wife point of view", I think you are in the right side of the internet to understand doll owners, I am in the same boat, married, my wife knows about my hobby and I understand 100% your call to doll owners to be open with the partner.

haremlover · Post by **haremlover** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 1:39 pm

Hi!

And a particular WELCOME!

What you write could almost be written by my wife too.

By force of circumstances my wife and I can only go away together when someone is able to cover for us at work. This means that for quite a few weeks of the year we're not together.

I'm writing a bit at length hopefully to help you to understand a bit more and be able to empathise with your husband as no matter relating to anything about which you should feel hurt. You'll find a bit more about a guy who's vaguely normal in my member introduction http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=231&t=57802 and although your red-bloodied male's twice daily desires might be a little inconvenient, it's important for men's health, heart and prostate, to be sexually active. Personally I'd like once a day although sometimes only have the energy for once every four days - old age

and then one knows one's getting old. So there are two good things to be very thankful about that your man's healthy and wants to stay that way, and that he's utterly faithful within your marriage. With that, if you can put aside your own feelings of an implication of any inadequacy, of which you're not guilty, joining in with his enthusiasm in some way, buying her clothes that you wouldn't want to be seen dead in, will actually bring both of you a great deal of fun.

I wish someone would say this sort of thing to my wife.

My wife tells me she's done "research" but only amongst the sort of prejudiced sources there are depicting men like us as abnormal and freaks and worse with "creepy" dolls and doesn't believe me that there are perfectly normal blokes like her husband who have dolls and even wives who understand, approve, and play dolls too.

I didn't ask my wife in advance as I thought she would disapprove anyway and raise fireworks at the cost. But a good doll always can bring a good price on resale, so it's far from being money down the drain, and better than investment in oil nowadays

LOL

My wife knew that I played with inflatable dolls before, and was most upset that I could enjoy the activity of sex with an inflatable, as far as she was concerned, on the same level and equatable with her. But on this basis a progression to solid dolls was not a terrible shock and I'm allowed them provided she doesn't see them. But she goes into the cupboard to count them and cover them up . . .

There's a little more to it than below, as I have reached a time of life when my male equipment is playing up and really comes to life disturbing me best in that period between waking and sleeping and waking - and when my wife's fast asleep and any activity with her or doll would be antisocial. You've no idea as a woman the tortures our sex puts us men through. For this reason, the occasional wild fling with a doll, such as with May, who without insult to my wife at all, http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=56000 gave me the best sex I've had for two decades without being unfaithful to my wife, was a great reward for patience. With May it was fantastic reassurance to know that my equipment was still capable of functioning - the reassurance needed in that mid-life crisis thing.

I bought my first two dolls, Aira in England for when my wife's away from home, and also as a photomodel to help me market things on ebay, and Chloé in France to amuse me when I'm there, and as a statement to my wife of my faithfulness to her - as I had been suspected and accused of having been not so. http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 06#p723606 Whilst of course being attracted by lust, these dolls really become a source of the greatest fun rather than sex. Perhaps TPE dolls and the latest soft silicone dolls from DS, and Ruby13 too, and soft PIBs are about sex, but my DS ladies have become simply toy people, puppets who I animate with joy and fun. There are so many people dead to life that if I can bring a doll dead to life alive then it's inspiration, I hope for live people to find life enriched alive all the more.

The story of Chloé in France is one of excitement on her arrival - fascination, a person, lust, love . . . but above perhaps you might be able to see that in order to have put the story together, I had to think for her, think as her, and train my brain in a more empathetic mode. And this is a very important value of dolls to men, and to their wives who might find that their men are better men than others and who have benefitted as a result. http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=53784 Chloé becomes a person and a character with whom I can share fun with all, except my wife. That's my wife's loss more than mine - and your's too. Chloé finds clothes in the bin across the road

gets a job at the local supermarket, the local beach restaurant, goes to visit friends, causing much hilarity along the way, goes swimming on a lilo, gets inspected by curious ladies, just as ladies inspect each other at coffee mornings, and goes to McDonalds. Chloé is company there for me on lonely evenings and as I have never had sex except with my wife, any sex with any doll is simply a surrogate for wife rather than any fantasy for anyone else as I have never known anyone else other than my wife . . .

One lady inspected Chloé's mouth asking if she did oral - clearly of interest possibly with the thought of the opportunity of getting a doll to do what her husband liked to do without her having to do it . . . So a doll is a release for women . . .

Dolls for men like your husband and I are nothing to do with how good or not our wives are, but simply an outlet for something beyond.

Here's a DS doll as pure art http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=59242

Mandy and Aira http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=55859 do concerts

and Aira tunes the piano! (I'm not sure where that set of photos is, but it's fun and it's sculpture . . .)

I had to repair one of my dolls and so I made a story out of it with instructions for others http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=54940 and my wife has clearly seen that as she's referred to my Dr Mengele activity . . .

But http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=54140 was pure amusement when member Mahoro who sold me Aira came to visit. http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=56955 was fun too, and nothing to do with anything of which my wife should want to disapprove, although she does nor http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=53747 either. Is http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=56357 something of which a wife should disapprove?

Perhaps http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=54281 came close to home but how many husbands not allowed dolls became jealous?

And the car sold in a flash

and my friend Angus who'd taken the flack from the publicity achieved significant lad status among his friends too . . .

Mahoro and I did these photos together as Aira's goodbye to him
http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=52210
Should a wife be worried by this lady . . . ?

Well - http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=52031 perhaps - and http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=51915 definitely !!! :haha4:

I'd like to think that with those photos there I'm the culprit for your husband's obsession with a DS doll

and as a result we don't have to look at porn or other women. . . . and after the excitement of sheer lust, it's all in the course of a good doll's day at work http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=53715

My wife knows that her husband won't be home late from the office dallying with his secretary, having got at home a stunner better than any other stunner his lady from Dalian.

I hope that this might make you happier about your man, and indeed about yourself, about both of you together . . . and really would you like to be dressed in a dress like this

and sit on a mantlepiece to titillate your man? How lucky are women to have men with dolls . . .

Simple things please simple minds and I'm simple. Indeed the headmaster of Eton College once told mothers that men, their husbands, were simple organisms.

So men with dolls to absorb their simplicity are the best men that women can have . . .

Best wishes

Harem

lovingchanj · Post by **lovingchanj** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 1:52 pm

Hi Dr. B Welcome to the forum.

We are not perverts. We are good, intelligent, sensitive people, men and women who are entitled to sexuality just as much as people in lucky, loving relationships. That something as beautiful as a doll could cause you pain, jealousy etc. is due to ignorance, nothing more.

Open your mind and see the situation as a scientist and you will have no problem understanding. Men need sex with pretty females. Its not the same as if it were a real person. Dolls are toys and men are boys. It doesn't make us bad and it doesn't mean your husband doesn't still love you.

This is an opportunity for you both to grow closer. That doesn't mean it'll be easy - because you labor under the false pretenses that are placed on you by the media and by society. Reject these lies and open your heart and mind and you may enter a new era of love and sexual closeness with your husband.

lovingchanj

Post by **brigittes hubbie** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 3:39 pm

Hi doctorb, welcome to the forum. I´m very happy for you and your man that this turned out well for the both of you. Just one thing: the next time you get dishtowels, take them to dress his doll, and he´ll realize that this stuff is not a present, be it for christmas or birthday, for a lady. He´ll understand it pretty fast.

Chris

doctorb · Post by **doctorb** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 2:38 pm

Dear Everyone-
Thanks for your kind words and insights. (Including the PM’s which I can’t respond to yet..)
You all do seem to be a colorful eccentric bunch, and I like that very much. In fact you fellas exemplify what I find rare in a man- someone who can give/create life; rather than take it, as with so many of the male species!
To answer a few questions- yes I have gotten involved in the purchasing and outfitting of the doll. And Harem you are 100% correct- it is fun buying clothes I wouldn’t be caught dead in. The problem lies in the fact that my husband seems a bit perplexed over my clothes selections. I bought her the requisite French maid outfit, a jaunty little red skirt and a dress I found online with the beguiling title “Party in the Back,” all of which he couldn’t quite wrap his head around. I guess I should be flattered that my husband seems to prefer dressing his doll in clothes I would wear, rather than those I buy for her.
In his defense, because I did hurt his feelings over the dishtowel remark, he did buy me a digital projector for Christmas and the dishtowels are very nice. And I know he will never again return from my most favorite clothes store with bags and bags of clothes for his doll without at least getting me a scarf!!
And yes, he knows about my voyeurism. I get unbelievably horny watching him fuss with the doll and he has come up with some creative sex positions with her. Watching him with her, is way better than all the porn videos I had to suffer through, which seemed more like a revisit of anatomy class than anything at all sensual.
Wow! You guys have taken some really remarkable photos. (And here I was thinking the biggest expense was going to be the doll and clothes- photo equipment will probably be next!!) I have helped with some photo shoots- and I think I have helped him with some ideas and artistic insights. I had a hard time watching him brush the dolls hair and change her clothes while sporting an erection looking like the bowsprit on a small schooner- but I got over it.
I have even offered up my services on a small surgical procedure he would like to do on his doll. But given my own doll surgical/mutilating childhood I think he is a bit leery.
I have confided in my sister over all this and she pointed out something I had never really thought much about- imagining our tiny little clitoris and blowing up its sensory nerve endings to the size of a penis and then trying to go about daily activities with this thing banging around in our pants. It is a wonder men can get anything done!!
I am prepared for the fact that one doll will probably lead to two dolls, and so on and so on as new models come out. New supple silicone skin, servo motors in all the right places, heated coils- I am just hoping that the Cherry 2000 will be affordable and we won’t have refinance the house!
Thanks for all your help with this.
doctorb

Lemminkainen · Post by **Lemminkainen** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 4:42 pm

Welcome to TDF Doctorb.

: A%20big%20warm%20welcome%20logo.jpg (24.83 KiB) Viewed 3335 times

It's great to read that the doll experience is working out well for you both. It doesn't always happen that way for some members though. I was fortunate enough to have a spouse that didn't go ballistic when disclosing my liking of one, and even though we'll be living apart and dissolving the marriage in the relative near future, Nunoko and Kylli were not contributing factors to any of that.
She has a good attitude of acceptance for my gals, and quite often asks me how they are!

The nuts and bolts of our arrangement is here: http://www.dollforum.com/forum/viewtopi ... it=dynamic
There are many variations of member + doll(s) + spouse scenarios, and it's always refreshing to see one synergizing the good.
Well, again welcome, and I hope yall keep up the happy times!!

james1969 · Post by **james1969** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 5:11 pm

Well doctorb, welcome to dollforum.

As for relationships with our dolls or merely a masturbation device, for me id have to say mostly sex. I have a higher sex drive now than i ever had with any real girl, my health/ blood pressure has improved as a result. I think dolls would be a good compromise in a relationship were there is a imbalance in sex between partners, 1, he/she remains faithfull to the relationship by not cheating, 2, no STD, pregnancy to worry about, and of course 3, you know where they are, and what they are doing.

As for age, hell, i will be 46 in a few months, so long as your healthy, thats what matters, glad things are working out for you and your partner, and you are both doing joint activities with your doll, even better