I had been lurking here and there for about a month or so. I have owned my WM Doll 100cm model for about over a month now. (It was an impulse buy, more on that later.)
Here's my story.
I have always been curious about Love Dolls. I don't know what it is about them I find fascinating. I used to see dolls as creepy. Especially those scary ventriloquist dolls with the eyes that follow you. But after going to a lot of anime conventions a few of my artistic friends would carry around these "Ball joint dolls" that I found to be gorgeous and so finely crafted. That definitely gave me a higher respect for dolls in general. Not just as toys but as finely crafted art pieces.
I had been browsing love dolls every now and then out of morbid curiosity. Most of which appear prohibitively expensive to me. I've always wondered what it would be like to have one just to use as a cuddle buddy. I was browsing to see if there was one I could snag that I could just try out. I came across esexdolls. I only learned of this forum after my purchase. I'm glad to see esexdolls was vetted, I was starting to worry until my doll arrived. They had a few that were on sale, so I thought to myself, what the heck, I'll try one. I picked out one that would have all the features but be somewhat affordable to me. After all, I had never owned or knew anyone that did so I had no frame of reference. I wanted to get one that if I didn't like it, it wouldn't be a big impact on my wallet. And if I did like it, it would be able to hold me over until I decided to go all out on a future model.
So, one day, on impulse, I purchased the large busted 100cm "Kitty" configuration. The turn around was 4 weeks. So during that whole time I was pacing, second guessing, stressing out over what for me was quite a major purchase. Sure it was the Fun-sized, Travel-sized, compact econo model, but I was still anxious. I keep waiting and expecting an email, a knock at the door, or a phone call from a delivery person. Then, a month later, on a Wednesday, I get a call from my apartment leasing office telling me there is a big heavy package that's been there since Monday. Holy crap! My doll had been sitting in an office for 2 days! I quickly head over, with my dolly, and pick up my doll (Package).
Finally, I set up the package and get ready to open it. For some reason I feel really nervous. I slowly and carefully unpack it. I unwrap the head and look into the eyes. They're so green and my heart just sinks and I fall in love. And her head was soooo soft and squishy! Yes, I dropped it a few times until I could set it on the body. She came with one wig, a care kit, and a pink nightie. I set her up and just spent the first few hours just staring at her. I couldn't believe I reached this point.
She was definitely fun to play with. The intimacy was incredible. I didn't know what to expect, it took different poses and positions to figure out what worked best for us. I really enjoyed it. For all of October, I was browsing Halloween stuff just for my doll. I was lucky that one of the Halloween stores had a $5 bargain bin, filled with wigs. So I bought about 4 wigs: Blonde, Amber, Black, and an off Red. The wigs are alright and kinda cheap but they work for what I need them for.
I found myself whispering, "Honey, I'm home!" when I come home from work. I do whisper around her a lot. I'm new to this and try to treat her delicately. She's had quite a few bumps and scrapes from falling over. So I've made good friends with super glue. Her wrists are all but useless since I read they were a bit of a joke. I anticipated them breaking easily and am not too bummed about it when it happened. But as I said before this is my first one.
I do like shopping around for her and finding a few outfits and mixing up things here and there. I'll do more with her, like get make up and such. The only major thing I'll do with her is add freckles some time in the future. I have a bunch of color markers I use for my artwork and maybe I'll use those. I do like to think of "Ginger" which is her new name, as my art assistant. So, I'll be taking on commissions to raise funds for my next doll. Which I'm looking into a full sized, more mature, Milf type. More on that another time.
I'm so glad this forum exists. Honestly I've had no where to turn to express my feelings and experiences on this. I know a lot of sexually open and fetish centric people. But I've never run into a love doll owner. I know furries, Pups, fetish community types, and more. But there is no one I can talk to about this or express, "Hey look at this cool new thing I got." I know not everyone wears their interests or hobbies on their sleeves or have to openly express everything. But it's nice to talk to others in a hobby.
Emotionally, I'm very happy with my purchase. I don't feel weird, icky, desperate or perverse. I'm single right now, and I'm ok with that. But having this doll does fill a tiny void for release. I actually find myself happier. Hell, I don't feel awkward talking to girls or just saying "Hello" with a warm smile to a passing pretty woman in the grocery store. Like you'd expect from a nerd/geek.
When I do get to dating, Doll ownership will be a huddle when I come to it. One of the things I love about the doll is that I can dress her however I like. One of the many frustrations on previous girlfriends was the whole, "This looks cute, would you wear this for me?" And the girlfriend was like, "No!" Provided I find the right size. My Doll can be that Sexy Secretary or Hot Teacher the girlfriend wouldn't be. I'll find myself a girlfriend sometime in the future, but there is no rush at the moment.