Is it time to start over?

[Z-Dollman]

So, its been a very rough week. Lots going on and last night I had a serious injury and ended up in the ER.

I spent most of today thinking about a lot of things and how out of sync my doll plans have gotten. When I first started collecting, I knew NOTHING about TPE dolls and have since become very knowledgeable through trial and error. I spent so much time, effort and money on this hobby and I just feel like its going to be the end of me.

This was supposed to be about me creating a "family". The doll family was supposed to help fill the void that having no human family at all has left in my life (except my mom , who is in a nursing home 3 states away.) I focused too much on wanting my dolls ASAP that I neglected to do my due diligence when it came to quality control. I ignored warning signs in the interest of refraining from causing friction. What I have learned in the past few weeks is that just like in my real life, it seems some human people just don't give a shit about how things they do (or don't do) affect me. If I have to deal with these humans in order to complete my doll family, maybe I'm not meant to.

Now, I think I'd just be better off getting rid of all my dolls and moving onto something more manageable. Something where I can do what I need to do, be who I need to be and not worry about other people or their feelings. Especially when it seems all I do is get burned.

Which leaves me with the $10000 question. How do I get rid of my dolls?

[DG]

Ziggy, I am so sorry that you are unhappy, that you had to go to the ER and that you are considering rehoming your guys. I am so sorry that things did not turn out how you had hoped. Is there anything that would have you reconsider rehoming your guys? Maybe keep one or two of them, but not move all of them, perhaps? I know that you can sell them here in the Sales on TDF thread. There are some guidelines in order to do so, but are pretty easy to follow. I am so sorry.

[sortarius]

It's true people today have become so self absorbed. It's a world of narcissists and sheeple. Being with my partner for so long sheltered me from that world and it wasn't until I was suddenly thrust out into it again I found myself older and alone. For the past 5 years that's been my life and despite reaching out to people and trying to make new friends in a new town I find myself isolated and alone.

But my loneliness has also become my shelter. I remind myself despite the emptiness of not having someone to hold or even just someone to tell me he cares knowing what the world out there is like I know I'm safe from harm, from hurt in my solitary life.

I dare say the first doll you purchased was to fill that lonely void. You enjoyed getting him clothes and the feeling of having something to care for. It made you feel relevant again. But the high you got from that purchase soon subsided so you bought another and another.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do right now. Keep one doll, the one you feel most connected to and sell the others. It'll remove the overwhelming sense you have now, but you'll still have that one special doll that makes you feel happy.

It's not a nice world anymore, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to it.

[Rock13]

Wow, Zippy, I'm really sorry to learn of your injury and trip to the ER. None of my business, but will the long-term effects make it more difficult to handle your doll(s)? Incidents like that- and going through the healing and recovering- can be a real pivot point, so beware of impulses. I'd recommend that you consider sotarius' advice and keep at least your favorite one. Foremost, though, I hope your recovery goes well for you.

[Z-Dollman]

No, the injury won't affect my ability to care for the dolls. It was a head injury so there wasn't a whole lot to damage to begin with. haha

A stainless steel thermal coffee carafe fell from a shelf and hit me in the head. I thought my forehead was bad, you should see the dent in the carafe!

[sortarius]

Having one heavy doll to live with is enough for me I don't know how you do it with several more.

[Z-Dollman]

Only one of my dolls is over 100lbs. One is just under 100lbs and all the rest are under 75lbs or under 60lbs. They're relatively lightweight.

Truth is, most of this is my own fault. I accepted sub-par quality dolls and didn't question them, I should have. Instead, I was too excited and anxious to get my dolls so I ignored the defects or dished out more money to buy a replacement body. Truth is, I've learned that despite the number of dolls I bought, I'm clearly less value than the standard customer. I actually thought I mattered but I've learned in the past few weeks just how much I don't. So I just want to forget about the whole damn thing and move on.

[Rock13]

No, the injury won't affect my ability to care for the dolls. It was a head injury so there wasn't a whole lot to damage to begin with. hahaA

It seems we're in the same boat on that count. (Relieved to know that it was your "big" head ) I've had several head injuries over the decades, including one severe enough to damage the part of mah bwain that regulates the sleep cycle. Could've been worse, but I do spend many nights up until sunrise and I suffer from racing thought streams even more than in the past. Hadleigh actually helps with that, though, because if I get involved with her in any manner I can forget about the hamster wheels spinning in my head.

[Z-Dollman]

Well, I was diagnosed with a severe mood disorder when I was 15. Spent much of my teen years in and out of institutions and group homes.

This was also my fifth head injury. I don't know, maybe its messing with my thinking. Who knows, who cares. lol.

[Rock13]

Well, you seem to have the right attitude regarding the matter. Still, I would caution you to avoid getting rid of all of your dolls in response to what may be a fleeting impulse. Perhaps just store them out of sight for awhile and see if you don't eventually miss them... there will always be time to follow through on your decision.

[Z-Dollman]

If I am to be totally honest, I don't think I could deal with getting rid of any of them (except one). I'm just frustrated and angry.

I just want to fix whats wrong so I can move on. But I'm not having any luck in that area.

[Mr Franz]

Sometimes you just have to take a step back and have a good look at yourself.

[Z-Dollman]

Sometimes you just have to take a step back and have a good look at yourself.

I want peace of mind, not nightmares. The last time I took a good look at myself, I couldn't sleep for days I was so scared. There's a scary looking monster possessing my mirrors. No matter how many times I replace them, he shows back up.

I've had several days to figure out what I want and I know it.

BUT, I have an update. I am in the process of finding a resolution and once this is finalized, alas, I won't need to start over!!!

[Z-Dollman]

Caleb & Hadleigh are buying them for me. So kind of them!

[Z-Dollman]

I decided to go with a TDF-vendor this time so I can have the piece of mind knowing I am being offered a fair and reasonable price that won't destroy my financial situation and still allow me to finally complete my doll family.

I felt REALLY guilty after posting about getting rid of my dolls. I could tell that the boys were very distraught at the thought of me selling them. I reassured them that I could never do that to them and that I was just frustrated. I think they understand thought I think Alex & Dylan were particularly upset and are having the hardest time with it. I'm hoping things are back to normal by morning.