JUST FOR LAUGHS

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Thu Jul 06, 2023 11:39 pm

A scammer called my grandma and said he had all her passwords.

She quickly got a pen and paper and said, "Thank god for that, what are they?"

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Thu Jul 06, 2023 11:40 pm

An 80 year old lady was marrying for the 4th time.

A newspaper asked if she wouldn't mind talking about her first 3 husbands and what they did for a living.

She smiled and said, "My first husband was a banker, then I married a circus ringmaster, next was a preacher and now in my 80's, a funeral director."

When asked why the 4 men had such diverse careers, she explained, "I married one for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready and 4 to go."

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Thu Jul 06, 2023 11:41 pm

The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's been telling lies."

I replied, "Well, tell him he's really good - I haven't got any kids!"

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:47 pm

A husband buys his wife 12 panties, all the exact same color.

The wife asks, "Why the same color? People will think I don't change my panties."

The Husband quickly replies: "Which people??????"

justintime · Post by **justintime** » Mon Jul 10, 2023 6:29 pm

Mr Franz · Post by **Mr Franz** » Mon Jul 10, 2023 6:46 pm

It's the 1st day of kindergarten for a pair of twin boys.

The teacher asks the first boy his name. He replies, "Peepot"

She's shocked by the young man's language, scolds him and asks again,"Peepot" he replies.

The teacher is furious and says she'll send him home if he doesn't stop using that language.

She asks his name a 3rd time. Again he replies, "Peepot"

The teacher is beside herself and finally sends the young man home.

He turns to his twin brother and says, "See ya Shithead, I gotta go home"

:haha4:

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Tue Jul 11, 2023 10:38 pm

Doctor: “Sir, I have bad news. I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.”

Me: "AND?????"

seagull · Post by **seagull** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 3:25 am

Yup, that one got to my funny bone :haha4:

Wight · Post by **Wight** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 5:19 am

What is a horror movie to an alcoholic?
"To Live and Die in A.A."

silicon · Post by **silicon** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 5:26 am

What is brown and sound's like a bell ?..

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Fri Jul 14, 2023 4:45 pm

No idea, sorry

Where do pirates get their hooks?

The second hand store.

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Tue Jul 18, 2023 2:40 am

One of my friends asked me, "If you could sleep with anyone living or anyone dead, who would it be?"

I replied, "Definitely somebody living."

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 11:18 pm

A woman giving birth went into a coma for a few days.

When she woke up, the doctor told her, "Congratulations, you gave birth to healthy twins: a girl and a boy. Your ex-boyfriend visited and named them for you."

The woman replies, “No not him! He's an idiot! What did he name the boy?”

Doctor: "Mason."

Woman: "Oh, that’s actually not a bad name. How about the girl?"

Doctor: "Madaughter."

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:43 pm

A police officer responding to a gunshot call called his police chief.

"We got an old lady who shot her husband for walking on the floor after she just mopped it," he reported.

"Have you arrested her?" the chief asked.

"Nope. The floor's still wet," he replied.