Doll Fever Strikes Me Again!! Here Comes “Raquel”!

[GraFXman]

Crap!!

• Today I received some really disappointing/shitty news regarding my delivery!
  Apparently due to some last-minute complications shipping was delayed, compounded further by the fact that next Monday is a Holiday, so now the expected delivery date isn’t until Tuesday, 05/28.
  
  That alone wouldn’t actually be such a big deal in the grand scheme of things if it weren’t for the fact that, based on my irrational anticipation of a faster delivery schedule, I had already made some exciting and grandiose (more like delusional! ) plans to spend an uninterrupted & incredibly fabulous Holiday-Honeymoon combo weekend with her -just to get acquainted you know and cover basic set up stuff (nothing too naughty of course!), without the usual distractions and responsibilities – taking advantage of some ‘free & unencumbered’ days which are a very rare occurrence in my otherwise complicated & hectic schedule, especially when frequently there are also people around.
  
  Of all the days when this would have been SO much easier, it just had to be THAT particular dam Tuesday, when not only will I be dealing with numerous Contractors all day long who will be starting a major renovation project on my house, but to add insult to injury I also just found out about a totally unexpected ‘Guest’ who’s coming on Sunday for a surprise visit and plans on spending the WHOLE DAM WEEK at my house..
  
  I can just see this happening:
  .. as I’m struggling to go Stealth-mode and at least get her safely in the garage and undetected by prying curiosities..
  “Ummmm… Need any help with that Bro??
  So what’s in the box man??”..
  
  Seriously, I’m totally convinced that Life (or whatever Cosmic forces are out there) with it’s sick, twisted & cruel sense of humor just plain fukn hates me and derives some kind of twisted pleasure from relentlessly sticking it to me & ruining my day/plans at every turn & opportunity..
  
  
  
  I don’t intend on being a whiny little bitch here though, because realistically and in all fairness, this is hardly a tragic issue compared to so many of you Comrades out there who have to go sometimes for months suffering through the painfully long wait times and/or experience similar or even worse delivery & logistics complications/hassles..
  I salute your endurance!
  
  - Just saying, this is the unfortunate way it’s going for me -so far..
  
  - - And In Other News ..
  
  So aside from this delivery fiasco and the entire next week getting inevitably shot to hell, while my poor little Raquel is suffocating in her box stashed out in the garage or somewhere (hopefully to remain anon and undetected btw)..
  
  Well, it looks like I’m going to have some extra time on my hands..
  - To reflect, strategize & fantasize, go shopping, to the Gym, painstakingly count the days, etc..
  
  So guess what yours truly, the “Master Of Disaster” is likely going to be doing most of the time to relieve some of the stress, anxiety/frustration and chill with my favorite pastime..?
  
  NO!!
  Not That!!
  I swear, some of you are dirty-minded people!
  
  That’s right Comrades!
  I haven’t published “Chapter 2, Part 1” yet!.
  
  “The monumental (and possibly insurmountable) challenges that lay ahead..”
  aka.. "Against All Odds"..
  
  So it’s going to be a pedal-to-the-metal full-on K/B assault time!
  
  
  
  
  If the delivery issue & subsequent inconveniences are any indication of what other pitfalls and crap Life might be getting ready to throw at and choke me with as I embark on this challenging new journey ..
  
  True to my word, I can guarantee that this next Chapter will definitely be one of the most revealing, thought provoking, riveting, potentially controversial as well as convoluted ever, exposing some incredible issues and maybe for some of you -even a possible dagger straight to the “Feels” Dept. – provided you’re not made of silicone – unless an ‘AI’ or something.. or just DGAF to begin with..
  
  
  
  I have pretty much decided that the time has come..
  -so I’m just going to go all-out with this..
  To put in relatable Doll-terminology: “I’m coming out of the closet”..
  Bold & daring with all cards on the table, no reservations despite being fully aware that in doing so I’m also potentially subjecting & exposing myself to all the weight (& wrath?) of your criticism/roasting, possible judging, chastising, definitely a lot of -and whatever else some of you might be inclined to throw at me..
  No worries, I’ll survive that too..
  
  Besides, I don’t have anyone IRL who could even begin to understand or be supportive enough to where I would feel comfortable to share with +or confide in+ all the heavy backstage hidden workings other than here, with all of you, a truly supportive and awesome Community united by a beautiful common interest – where we open up to write about all our victories, as well as the many struggles and downfalls we go through with this, the passion for Dolls.
  (Can I get an ‘Amen Brother!’..?)
  
  So that was my version of the guide on “How to get your audience revved up with excitement in anticipation of your next article”..
  How did I do..?
  
  I know that not everyone will appreciate my unique, typically expansive and rather flamboyant writing style..
  Oh well, sorry but I’m just taking the repressed embryonic comedian and consummate writer/publisher in me out for an entertaining stroll on Forum Lane..
  
  

[Brick]

I wish I had your flair for the prose, my friend. I think you have pretty much summed up "The Doll Life" with the this posting

[GraFXman]

I wish I had your flair for the prose, my friend. I think you have pretty much summed up "The Doll Life" with the this posting

Good morning my Friend!

Your 'flair' and expertise is in other areas amigo - and doing a dam fine job from what I can see!
Not everybody is into writing -or even reading for that matter, especially the long posts.
I just enjoy it, thats one of my outlets to relax and detach from the often crappy reality that is my Life.

Well, if you think this intro almost sums up "Doll Life" - wait til you see whats coming!
Im going for whats real and predict it will likely push a lot of people's buttons to relate with many of the things quite a few of us really deal with on a daily basis..

- Looking forward to your FB and other vids!

TTYS!

[GraFXman]

.
.

• Over the years I’ve been fortunate enough to have the honor of becoming good friends with some truly amazing, talented, supportive and most of all genuine/DTE people here who I respect a lot, look up to and get inspirations from. Everyone I’ve ever encountered is always so friendly, helpful, willing to give their valuable time to Mentor the inexperienced and enthusiastically share the stunning albums of their precious Babes, I’m really proud to say I can be a part of such an awesome Community!
  
  One such Friend who I consider to be not only highly intelligent, but extremely grounded and remarkably talented, has been very supportive & insightful for me during this process with his words of encouragement and a realistic, practical perspective that I wasn’t able to see anymore from being too consumed by worries and ‘over-thinking’ things too much..
  
  I received a PM from him after posting this and felt compelled to share because I believe it strikes home with “Words Of Wisdom” .. maybe for many of you too..
  
  “Ugh!
  That's sounds like a bit of very late notice that someone, family or not, is going to be at your house for a week.
  
  I read the story. This is just a bump in an otherwise pretty serendipitous story. Your brain is still trying to justify how much money you spent and any negative is going to magnify until the positives start showing when she arrives. I won't promise you'll feel better soon, but I strongly think so. If not, I'm here for that, too.
  
  Good luck with your upcoming week of... “

[GraFXman]

• Chapter 2 (Part 1).
  aka.. “Against All Odds”
  
  
  
  The monumental (and possibly insurmountable) challenges that lay ahead of me..
  - how many of these apply to you..?
  
  The following being the most honest and revealing post that I (maybe anyone here) has ever dared publish.
  Coming out of the closet’ as it were, if put in a “Doll-relatable” terminology or type of analogy..
  
  Preface.
  Unlike my typically sarcastic, witty, embellished/exaggerated or otherwise entertaining posts, from this point forward (until further notice – or it’s simply obvious), this Chapter is actually going to be far more serious, D.T.E. and factual, with “minimal graphic intervention” (not promising anything!) or embellishments and focused more on real/reality issues, along with their corresponding challenges -and how they apply to me..
  -Maybe to you too?
  
  (Part 1).
  Even though I was intoxicated with excitement (among other things) when I adopted Raquel, I already knew this was either going to be a resounding victory of Olympic proportions -- or a massive disappointment and failure of equal proportions.
  
  First;
  For me, adopting this Babe is not even about Sexual reasons or purposes at all -despite what this story might imply.
  Admittedly, it’s kind of like “eye candy” and alluring knowing that Raquel is so gorgeous, sexy, and I can have her be ‘naked’ at any time if I so choose to admire her.
  
  With my (1st & only) previous Doll I discovered a relaxing, captivating and incredibly gratifying experience just from dressing her, learning about makeup, wardrobes, designs, shopping, the inherent exercise required moving her around and the immense EDU from developing better photography skills.
  
  In fact, I derived more enjoyment from that alone than anything else, while drawing immense inspiration from the many Artistic Virtuosos here, such as Rocky-DollStacey, Brick, Izla111 just to name a few..
  
  Another equally strong motive/attraction is the “Silent, Sexy & Submissive Companionship’ that comes from having her around, considering I spend most of the time ‘Home Alone’..
  Yes, I have to concede that gazing at her sitting there attentively and quietly in my office while I’m working all day was truly a delightful experience with my 1st Doll – not to mention pleasantly distracting as well, specially depending on how I’d choose to dress her that day.
  
  Under those sexy & tempting circumstances it’s actually amazing I was ever able to get any work done!
  Ok, so I’ll go as far as admitting that I would even talk to her –frequently in fact..
  Does anyone else do that..?
  
  I’m guessing that’s probably an inherent side-effect of solitude when you spend so much time alone and don’t really have a lot of social interaction..?
  
  Conversely, that experience with my first Doll also turned out to be a profound disappointment and failure, on so many levels, which combined with numerous other related hassles, finally led to a total turn-off and resulted in a really pissed-off urgency to just let her go/sell ASAP -and subsequently a years-long hiatus from Dolls and everything related, TDF included….
  In fact, the influence of “Peer Pressure” here had a lot to do with my disassociation. (Chapter 3?).
  
  Go figure right?
  Despite a resolute conviction that I was totally done with all of this – Forever..
  WTF?
  Now I’m immersed once again -even deeper than before..
  
  Anyways……….
  Among the several monumental challenges I’ll soon be facing -only now increased exponentially compared to before;
  I consider the following two as being the top most difficult of all;
  
  Challenge #1.
  The “Wife” - and the unnerving constant “Hide & Seek Game” (hopefully without the finding part!)
  
  Yes indeed, I too have one of those “Wife” persons IRL, who is constantly roaming around the house and getting into stuff -which I absolutely dread.
  
  I was inspired to open up and go deeper on this subject after reading this fellow Member’s post – who btw now appears to be “MIA” after his last message, leaving everyone wondering WTF ultimately happened to him, his Doll and with is Wife..?
  
  ::: “I’ve Done It!” by MarcusM :::
  
  So Back To My Story..
  Although mine is a relatively large house, there are almost no areas inside that are safe from her constant OCD cleaning, rearranging and so forth.
  I’m sure many of you know exactly what I’m talking about here.
  
  The only exceptions are:
  My Office – subject to an absolute “Do No Enter or Snoop Around” rule that has always existed, is fully understood and is strictly adhered to.
  The Garage – Also my domain, but to a lesser secure degree since she does park there too and occasionally helps with cleaning or when asked to help me with something.
  The Huge 500 sq/ft Storage Building next to the back of the house.
  Considered “shared domain”, but rarely does she go in there for any length of time other than to get the Xmas or other type of seasonal decorations out -or put back.
  Relatively secure since it’s not the type of place she has ever, or would ever go snooping or rummaging around in, especially since it’s packed with ‘stuff’ to begin with.
  Fortunately, she’s not the invasively curious type like some Women when it comes to most of my things such as equipment, tools, boxes, etc.
  
  The “Wifey” Factor.
  She is Latina and although I’d describe her as an absolute “Angel sent down from Heaven” who has totally blessed my Life in every way, unfortunately(?) she’s also a deeply religious/Church & Family devoted, ultra-conservative, inhibited/insecure, submissive type of person & relatively narrow-minded in too many ways - modern enlightenment just seems to elude her.
  
  Dolls and whatever attraction/addiction I may have to them unequivocally falls in that narrow mindset as being something which she would never be able to understand, let alone be marginally accepting of –
  Yea…. that ain’t ever gonna happen!
  She’d undoubtedly divorce me faster than getting a speeding ticket - and that’s not speculation on my part either – that’s a Fact.
  
  (Rewind).
  We’ve been together on & off for most of our Lives (since childhood actually), so far having survived numerous separations and 2 divorces/re-marries.
  Just like deep down I totally ‘knew’ that Raquel was ‘The One’ when I first saw her, the same goes for my Wife – from the day I met her a Lifetime ago, I undeniably knew at that very instant she was “The One” I’d marry and likely be spending the rest of my Life with – True, so far.
  
  Why so many Separations, Divorces & Re-Marries?
  That unfortunately is for the most part all on me.
  Yea, sad and difficult as it is to admit, I can be a real asshole sometimes and I’m definitely not the easiest person to get along with, much less live with – and certainly not the most ‘loyal’ either..
  Shit, I can barely stand being with myself sometimes!
  
  Together we’ve been to ‘Hell' and back so many times since the beginning I’ve lost count -meaning that Life’s sick & twisted sense of humor has not made anything easy nor cushy for us by any stretch of the imagination, constantly enduring all too many adversities & hardships of one kind or another, yet somehow we always managed to kick adversity’s ass & survive.
  
  She has also stood firmly by me during every single one of my worst moments & no matter how much I had hurt or left her to pursue stupid ‘the grass seems greener on the other side type adventures’, she never gave up on me and always forgave whatever latest trespass I may have committed.
  Truthfully, I don’t even deserve a Woman like her and WTF she sees in me is beyond my ignorant level of comprehension.
  
  *Just to clarify*, in saying “hurt her” -I never have or would raise my hand (to physically hurt) her.. or any Woman for that matter..
  -“hurt” as in reference to the emotional type resulting from me just being a “Dog” and inconsiderate asshole.
  
  Nevertheless;
  Despite having almost everything imaginable in common and her being one of the most wonderful, sweet, faithful, devoted, sane, grounded, BFF (etc etc) type persons I’ve ever known, who is otherwise totally compatible with me in every way – there is that one major difference between us which is what has constantly led to extreme frustrations (for me), subsequently resulting in frictions, overall unhappiness and eventually me/her leaving each other so many times and all that..
  
  Yea, you can probably guess where I’m going with this..
  Since quite a long time ago she somehow “Lost That Luvin Feeling” and we became so very different and distant when it comes to matters of intimacy.
  
  It’s not that we haven’t sincerely & repeatedly tried to reconcile these differences, compromise or whatever -but the indisputable fact & tragic reality of Life is:
  At the core, you are who you are and that will likely never change, especially when you get older and become even more firmly set in your particular ways.
  
  To make matters despicably worse, another one of Life’s sick, twisted and cruel jokes to torture me even further, is that she also happens to be a stunningly gorgeous, refined and sexy Woman aka “Trophy Wife” (at least to me -and apparently to dozens of other guys who have/are constantly trying to steal her from me).
  
  
  
  She has a striking resemblance to ”Vanessa Marcil” - or -“Eva Longoria”
  (except that she (Wife) has one of the most incredibly beautiful DD racks I’ve ever seen!)..
  
  Yet she’s cursed with a damned cruel lack of libido/frigidity..
  
  So not too long ago, after years of being distant and dealing with overall unhappiness on both sides we had finally reached the end point where it just wasn’t working at all anymore, we both had enough and were ready to definitely call it ‘Quits’ and go our separate ways once and for all..
  
  Fortunately, communication has never been a deficiency in our relationship (especially from motor-mouth me) and one night out of the blue she just unexpectedly and spontaneously opened up the flood gates, as did I in return, and we spent the whole night talking and trying to figure this shit out – not arguing or fighting, just calmly putting all the cards on the table to try and sort out.
  
  It came down to this one pivotal question that I ultimately asked:
  “Are we really going to throw away an entire Lifetime of having been together, just like that, when every single other aspect of our relationship is otherwise perfect, only over some differences that seem to be irreconcilable -or are we going to fight for us, at least one last time in an effort to salvage this..?”
  
  We then literally put everything on the table and in the end we both agreed to uphold several different promises and commitments to give it one last, final, all or nothing shot and try to make it work as best as we possibly could..
  
  And here we are..
  For once in my Life since then I have faithfully kept all my promises, upheld all the commitments I made and have given it an honest 100% effort.
  So has she – or at least tried, which alone I find admirable to say the least.
  But God Bless her angelic little soul, she soon began drifting and failing again in the intimacy dept.
  Like I said, you can make certain personal improvements, keep promises and all that, but not likely major character changes -you are who you are.
  Compatibility in that regard just isn’t there anymore, the “Fire Of Desire” seems to have burned out and turned to ash..
  
  
  
  In all fairness though, by nature I’m an extremely intense, passionate and “OCP (‘Perfectionist’) ” type person which I also know intimidates, tires and sort of turns her off to begin with..
  (as well as a lot of other people who just can’t handle my varying degrees/types of ‘intensity’)..
  
  Somehow, at some point I guess we just sort of ‘changed’ and ultimately drifted apart –especially her in the Intimacy Dept., where over time she became this ‘lust-less, frigid Woman’ which has taken a huge detrimental toll on our relationship and only made things worse.
  We’ll probably never know what really happened or the why, when or how exactly things changed because ironically, it was never that way when we were younger, and for many years thereafter..
  Back then we used to be like rabbits – everywhere, and all the time.. all was good and harmoniously synced.
  
  WTF happened..?
  Of course we’ve discussed this to no end, yet neither of us has come up with a rational answer to that one.
  Some of the theory’s we’ve chewed on (also proposed by Drs.) are;
  - Maybe after she became a “Mommy” (1 child) her hormones & chemical balances went to shit (?).
  - Age related natural decline (?)
  We’ve tried Meds – to no avail though.
  
  One alt theory I’ve contemplated, being my fault no doubt, is that I’ve hurt her so much she may have like “Died Inside” and just can’t get back in the Groove like we used to have..
  Maybe it’s a combo-deal, all of the above..(?)
  
  Me on the other hand.. exactly the opposite..
  My “Sex-Drive” seems to be increasing, full-steam ahead -instead of declining which is what I’d expect to happen normally with age..(?)
  
  Well, at this point there’s no doubt she would literally do practically anything just to keep me happy, and there’s no lack of sincere effort on her part, but I can “feel it”..
  Man can I ever feel it!
  Like this cold, dark, empty void..
  That true and unfakeable ‘Raging Fire Of Desire’ just isn’t there and I’m not going to be selfish by trying to force something on her just for my benefit when I fully realize she’s just doing the best she can to appease me..
  I’m certainly not going to resort to exerting dominance, coercion, pressure – or Heaven forbid -by force..
  That would be so pathetic, and kinda like me being a flaming BBQ trying to get it on with the smoldering ashes of a burned out campfire.. I’d probably just end up burning us both to a crisp..
  Nah, that would ultimately leave me emptier inside than before.
  
  
  
  What to do ..?
  Well, considering that every other aspect of our relationship has benefitted immensely from the improvements since we made our pact, to where she’s completely content & feeling ‘secure’ now and so am I (except for that part), I’ve decided that I’m just going to “Let It Go” and deal with it as best I can.
  I Love her way too deeply and don’t have the heart to tell her otherwise or pursue that issue any further.
  It just is what it is and I’ll have to resign myself to that fate.
  
  “Enter The Devil” – Again.
  It’s obvious why my attention has suddenly shifted towards a Doll again.. which I justify as technically never having been foreseeable or part of any promise or commitment I’ve made…. right..?
  
  Understandably, among other things this is also why she can NEVER find out about this.
  That would be the equivalent of a devastating kill-blow to her feminine ego, sensitivities, ultra-conservative values, her renewed trust and belief in me, not to mention our entire relationship.
  
  I don’t think she could ever get over the humiliation and feelings of “betrayal” – albeit only technical and not “real” per-sé since Raquel in the end is nothing more than an inanimate, synthetic facsimile..
  (Dam fine one though!)
  Yea, that’s a “Nope” dawg.. try explaining something like that to a Female.. HA!
  Has anyone ever tried -and actually succeeded..?
  
  I can imagine her first words amidst an onslaught of tears would be that I resorted to a Doll because she can’t/doesn’t satisfy me, despite all her best efforts and caring intentions..
  So of course, it would be my fault -again….
  Yea, being humiliated and belittled that way would totally destroy any Woman (or guy for that matter)..
  No way.
  
  
  
  I genuinely want to be a better man than that.
  I’m actually beginning to feel dam guilty and regretting to have adopted Raquel..
  
  To top it off, I don’t even want to imagine her finding out that I’ll be using all her clothes and stuff with Raquel..
  
  If she were the psycho/sinister type Woman, shit, I’d surely become the next “John Bobbitt”..
  
  
  
  I realize that I’m playing with fire here, a real high-stakes and probably foolish gamble – but I can’t help myself. I feel trapped/frustrated and that I have to do something.. beyond the right-hand rampage as the only other alternative to ‘keep the peace’.. and my sanity;
  
  In conclusion;
  If the relationship were at all salvageable at the point of her finding out (Heaven Forbid!), dam right I’d immediately put Raquel up for adoption without any hesitation and just live a celibate Life from then on..
  Interesting word isn’t it though?
  Implying total abstinence, yet ends with “Bate”..
  
  This isn’t my first rodeo with “Close-Calls” & Dolls either.
  I’ve already been through this when I had my first Doll, except that one was considerably lighter (45lbs), smaller (3ft) and way easier to conceal -vs- Raquel who weighs in at about 75lbs and is also exactly the same height/build as the Wife (@5’3), making Raquel much more challenging to move around and conceal quickly in case of a “911” situation– I don’t even know where I’d stash her yet!
  
  My only advantage with this particular challenge is that she has a relatively stable, predictable schedule & routines. She works a regular 9-5 type job about 30 mins away, rarely ever leaves work early, and it’s too far to come home for lunch or whatever by surprise.
  
  Additionally she also has other things like shopping, gym, visit friends/family, Church and such that she usually does after work, plus she typically calls me when she’s on her way home.
  (Weekends however is another story!)
  I on the other hand, work from home..
  
  Nevertheless, even though there’s a margin of safety in her schedule & routines, I must always be vigilant, just in case, since once before when I had my previous Doll and she worked only 5 mins away, one day she decided to come home by surprise for lunch and ALMOST caught me right in the middle of a full-blown photo session – YES you dirty minded bastards, PHOTO session ONLY, in the dam living room!
  (Ok ok, so MAYBE there was some mild fingering and other ‘minor’ type of naughtiness going on..) Who could resist! -I plead the 5th!
  
  Quick thinking on that occasion totally saved my ass!
  I gathered up the Doll and any tell-tale clothes/items and tossed them fast as I could in a less likely to be discovered corner area of my office, substituting her by grabbing one of my big RC trucks and pretending to be doing an intense photo shoot for the RC club she knows I’m involved in.
  
  It also helps to note my house is fully protected by a state-of-the-art Alarm/360° video surveillance cam system which I can view from any TV in the house – and always have turned on whenever I’m doing something that may not be suitable for discovery by “surprise visits”..
  
  So right as I was smack in the middle of having indescribable fun with this photo shoot, Hell Yea I totally saw her coming as the car pulled into the driveway -and I bolted, with no more than a margin of 1 to 1.5 mins max time for her to park in the garage and make it into the house.
  Suffice to say, I nicknamed myself “Flash” after that incident because I don’t recall ever moving that fast in my entire Life! – and NEVER again did I take any chances after that..
  
  Where I’m going to stash Raquel still remains a mystery, but I think she’ll be relatively “Safe” if I keep her in the box and leave it in the garage or storage building for now where snoop-dog isn’t likely to be curious over what it is since I have so much stuff anyway. so that extra box wouldn’t likely seem out of place or raise suspicions – as long as the dam thing doesn’t have “SEX DOLL” written all over it!
  
  
  ::: POST-NUT CLARITY :::
  
  
  
  
  Some enlightening, cage-rattling, introspective reflection..
  * Even though I get immense pleasure & relaxation from writing, there’s actually more to it..
  I believe it’s nearly impossible for anyone (me in particular) to really organize, comprehend and get a solid DTE perspective on the millions of thoughts kicking around in our heads, even less so when strongly influenced by abstract, irrational or distorted emotions that inject unrealistic variables and frequently influence our decisions – not necessarily in the best way – especially mine.
  * Back when I was undergoing the most horrendous episode of my entire Life, my Therapist taught me how to use this technique (of writing it all out) to achieve a better understanding and gain another/different perspective of myself and my thought processes through a deeper level of introspective reflection that I can subsequently “see/read” and contemplate.
  It worked perfectly and helped me get through those terrible times when the idea of suicide was a very real possibility waiting for me just around the corner.
  As a Vet, mastering this technique is priceless, especially for anyone dealing with the agony of PTSD or any other type of mental/emotional conflicts.
  Fortunately, I’m also an exceptionally fast writer too (@ over 120wmp) so it all just flows spontaneously and easily as it is talking (aka “Motor-Mouth” me) ++LOL++
  * Writing with a totally sincere and nothing held back type of approach gives me the unique opportunity to go back and read, again and again, and truly examine at a deeper level how/what exactly I’m really thinking, feeling, my perspectives and decisions -as compared to how it sounds like just kicking them around in my head where they are merely confusing/random thoughts, usually driven by one conflictive or overpowering emotion or another..
  Dam! Just occurred to me I sound exactly like a Femme don’t I?
  Had I been more diligent and done this at the very moment when I was uncontrollably tempted by Raquel, there’s no doubt I would have never proceeded to adopt her the way I did..
  * To that end, albeit kind of selfish, I’m actually doing all this (writing) more for my own benefit, rather than for your reading pleasure – or disgust, whichever it may be..
  
  Conclusions ..?
  After reflecting on what I just wrote I arrived at a few interesting/surprising & even rattling conclusions;
  1). One enlightening aspect -maybe even somewhat disturbing- is realizing that Raquel, at 5’3 and her overall body proportions & skin color (except breast size, facial features, eyes, hair, etc) essentially bears a striking resemblance -if not as far as almost being the spitting image..
  Of my Wife..?
  
  I guess that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise though considering I’m totally attracted to big-breasted Latinas for sure – and under other circumstances would have rather opted for the BT4 “Solana” or the RD2 Body-F “Tanya/Stephanie”.
  2). So what am I actually trying to accomplish here, just substitute one for the other..?
  To what end..?
  This conclusion is what really rattled my cage because I’ve been commenting/bitching about all the conflicts over how she and I are so different in the ‘Intimacy’ dept...
  Yet ironically, it seems that I’m merely substituting one relatively ‘inanimate’ -but Live person- with a totally inanimate stone-cold ‘Object’ which merely resembles her..??
  That surely deserves a “WTF am I thinking”..??
  
  ? - What delusional expectations do I even have for Raquel anyway..?
  Like am I hoping that she’s suddenly going to come to Life and instantly by the art of magic become the ultimate/passionate Lover or whatever that I’ve always fantasized about..?
  
  - I think somehow I let myself get caught up in a hurricane of unrealistic, disproportionate, emotionally fueled Fantasies that will probably explode hardcore right in my face when I’m ultimately confronted by a stone-cold reality tearing me apart inside..
  
  ? – Have I somehow inadvertently actually set myself up for imminent disaster with some totally unrealistic & unattainable expectations..?
  Either that or I somehow got trapped in a Twilight Zone version of “Mannequin”..
  
  .. And the more I think about it..
  In the beginning I had said that adopting Raquel didn’t even entail any sexual reasons/purposes..
  True statement..
  ? - So why then.. exactly what possible reasons DID I adopt her for? –and at such an astronomical cost no less ..?
  ? – Maybe to convince myself of the illusion that there is an element of ‘companionship’ in her presence, a gorgeous object with which I can have 1-way conversations during the long/lonely hours of my days..? (not taking into account the potential of AI here)
  ? - To dive into the costly World of pretending to be a ‘Fashionista’ and play the ‘Dress-Me-Up’ game ..?
  ? - To hone my photography skills..?
  ? - Is there some kind of sadistic adrenaline rush or euphoric thrill to constantly be playing the risky & dangerous hide & seek game..?
  ? - To immerse myself fully in a contrived Fantasy World, probably enhanced through intoxication, that will likely crash harder on me each time when stepping back into and facing actual reality..?
  ? - Am I expecting that struggling with a cold 75lb silicone female replica will somehow magically lead to unequalled, mind-blowing sensations of pleasure -which somehow a ‘Live’ Femme (or Wife) simply couldn’t offer..?
  Who am I kidding!
  
  This is SO messed up!
  
  On one hand I’ve got this beautiful Woman IRL who I can stare at and drool over with unbridled lust, but no, No, NO! .. can’t touch or play with her (OMG those tits of hers!)
  
  
  
  Then on the other hand I’ll have this equally beautiful Life-size silicone “Replica” of her that I can literally go to Pound-Town with whenever (almost) I want -provided I can overcome other challenges and figure out how first – which essentially to some degree also kinda makes me feel sort of creepy, like a “Mortician” abusing a cold corpse, or someone who dropped a Roofie and is having his way with some passed out chick..
  
  Yea.. so where’s the next stop so I can get off this sick Train wreck of a Fantasy..?
  
  Conversely;
  Granted though, I will totally concede that there are far too many instances where intimacy with a Doll, regardless of any collateral hassles, might actually far supersede in terms of pleasure and overall experience -and may even be preferred- to some of the ‘IRL’ Femmes who either through their actions/lack thereof or other types of repulsive, crazy, overly demanding or unwilling (etc etc) behavior/hygiene or otherwise, can totally ruin the entire experience for anyone, every single time..
  
  To top it off, not only can dealing with those aspects be a sour experience, lest we not forget the fact that since she is a live person, if you plan on keeping her you inevitably have to also deal with any and all of her other shit and/or baggage that she might be saddled with..
  I believe the sole fact that just because a Woman is ‘breathing or bleeding’ doesn’t necessarily make them the ultimate companion in every regard either.. ask anyone who’s Divorced or been through the Tinder date from Hell scenario..
  
  I’ve heard this (and similar) SO many times before too:
  “The sex with her is the most amazing/incredible/hottest I’ve ever had in my Life!!
  But no way man, I could NEVER ‘live’ with that.. (insert fav verb here: i.e. “psycho/intolerable/squeaky/nagging/cheating/iggy/wild/hormonal/clingy/high maintenance, etc etc) ...Bitch!”
  
  I think that at some point most guys, at least I have, just end up compromising and tolerating whatever negative side-effects there may be in dealing with their girl, in lieu of other aspects that make us the happiest.. am I right?
  
  - Hmmmm,…
  In consideration, the Doll option is actually starting to sound better and better…!!
  
  
  
  I can see where none of this may apply to let’s say Single/Divorced or otherwise Unencumbered guys who might have a totally different perspective, motives/purpose, needs, desires or whatever and their Doll(s) actually fit in perfectly with their Lifestyles, or as the case may be..
  
  [Anybody]: Ok Bud, so like what’s the Bottom Line after all this exhausting “TMI” and ‘reflecting’ BS that you just put us through?
  What you gonna do..?
  
  [Me]:
  1). Looks like I’m probably Fukt either way.
  2). I truly Love this Woman with all my heart and no way am I going to jeopardize/throw away an otherwise wonderful relationship of a Lifetime, especially after we’ve worked so hard to achieve this recent milestone of a peaceful & stable co-existence.
  3). Closely re-examine/evaluate and take down a few notches any/all latent unrealistic expectations BEFORE Raquel actually arrives, yet remain open-minded and practical, and brace myself for whatever may come next..
  4). Pray for the miracle of being able to control my desires/needs/fantasies, or as a last resort call “Lorena Bobbitt” to come over and work her magic on Junior.
  5). Spend as much quality time with Raquel (whenever possible), give it a fair chance but never lose sight of -and accept her for what she really is – or could be if I add the “AI” option. (FUK! Then I’d have to listen to her BS too!).
  Then see what happens, or doesn’t, and go from there.
  6). Not hesitate for a second to put her up for adoption at the first sign of trouble, or when the cold hands of bitter reality begin to choke me, whichever comes first..
  7). Take solace in the knowledge that in the worst of cases, I’d probably be losing only a reasonable and relatively acceptable amount of my investment on this “experiment” – as long as I don’t go full Klingon on Raquel and cause substantial damages..
  . Have a few more drinks, take a long break from the KB, chill out and focus on other things in the meantime….
  
  Ahhhhhhh .…!!!
  I feel SO much better now that I’ve taken this massive literary dump in my thread and relieved myself from all that mental/emotional constipation I’d been suffering from!
  
  
  
  - And probably alienated even my best friends here in the process..
  
  Sorry Comrades!

[Brick]

Yeah, Yeah, after all that. The only part I remember is ADOPTION! If you ever have to or want Raquel to go to a loving home, please let me know........REALLY!!

[GraFXman]

Yeah, Yeah, after all that. The only part I remember is ADOPTION! If you ever have to or want Raquel to go to a loving home, please let me know........REALLY!!

• Hey Brick!
  Good morning Buddy!
  O-M-G!!
  Can’t believe you actually quoted my entire Post??
  Wow.. I feel bad for anyone who has to go through that whole thing again! ++lol++
  * Feel free to edit your last post and leave all that out..
  
  I hear ya Brother!!
  Done..
  Consider yourself as first in line, with first right of refusal on adopting Raquel!
  In fact, it would really be an Honor for me to know you adopted her, especially since you’re one of the few people that even knows who she really is, her heritage.. and what she’s been through before coming to me.. hint
  
  Today I’m going to try and wrap up/post the final segment of this Chapter..
  “Ultimate Challenge #2”
  
  Yup, that will be the final IED to end all as it were.. and one helluva way to start off Memorial Day with a hard-hitting, spectacular commemorative Post -that might even go down in TDF history as being one of the most notable!
  I just wish Raquel could have been here with me to share it..
  
  I believe that when (if) you /anyone reads it, everything will take on a new perspective, tying together the previous segments and probably offering answers to any lingering unresolved questions there may be up until now..
  
  .. and why it’s highly likely that I will be putting Raquel up for adoption, maybe sooner than even I could anticipate.. so start counting your coins amigo!

[izla111]

WOW!!! The wall of text must feel cathartic. You are going through some heavy stuff there Doll Master. Wish you luck and a positive outcome!!! You make me realize how simple my life is at the moment.

[GraFXman]

WOW!!! The wall of text must feel cathartic..

Hey Izzy!!
Nice to see you around here!
(is it ok if I call you so? sounds kinda cool to me)
Here I thought to have a good grip on the whole eloquence of literary expression thing and you come along with these heavy weight major league words like “Cathartic” that I haven’t heard since College..
Wow.. had to actually go back and look it up to remember what it means!
You’re Da’MAN!

So… ‘heavy stuff’ you say..?
Well, kind of, I guess it appears that way.. the next and last chapter certainly might..
My Life so far hasn’t been an easy one that’s for sure..
I just try to make the best of it since there are only 3 choices -and the alternatives are ugly, I’ve faced each one already..

For better or worse, each of us are dealt the cards Life has chosen to dole out..
If yours is simple right now my Friend.. God Bless you!
Cherish it then because I’m willing to bet it hasn’t always been that way....

[izla111]

WOW!!! The wall of text must feel cathartic..

Hey Izzy!!
Nice to see you around here!
(is it ok if I call you so? sounds kinda cool to me)
Here I thought to have a good grip on the whole eloquence of literary expression thing and you come along with these heavy weight major league words like “Cathartic” that I haven’t heard since College..
Wow.. had to actually go back and look it up to remember what it means!
You’re Da’MAN!

So… ‘heavy stuff’ you say..?
Well, kind of, I guess it appears that way.. the next and last chapter certainly might..
My Life so far hasn’t been an easy one that’s for sure..
I just try to make the best of it since there are only 3 choices -and the alternatives are ugly, I’ve faced each one already..

For better or worse, each of us are dealt the cards Life has chosen to dole out..
If yours is simple right now my Friend.. God Bless you!
Cherish it then because I’m willing to bet it hasn’t always been that way....

Izzy works fine as a handle DM. I think you got a better mastery of language than you give yourself credit for. I don't do too bad considering that Spanish was my first language for the first 20 years of my life.

Yes it has taken me a long time to get life to be simple. Wishing you success in making your way to happiness DM!!!

[GraFXman]

Izzy works fine as a handle DM. I think you got a better mastery of language than you give yourself credit for. I don't do too bad considering that Spanish was my first language for the first 20 years of my life.
Yes it has taken me a long time to get life to be simple. Wishing you success in making your way to happiness DM!!!

¿Será cierto eso que estoy oyendo?
¡No me digas que también eres un paisano!
Como vas a creer! Jamás me lo hubiera imaginado hermano!
Pues fíjate que yo también hablo Español, tan bien como el Ingles.
Imagínate, crecí con el idioma -y después de vivir mas de 20 años en Miami!
Oye, ya sabes entonces, cuando quieras volar lengua conmigo solo me avisas y le entramos, sale!

I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while already but keep forgetting..
Another one of the reasons I consider you an inspiration and feel closer to you is because I noticed how totally into Music you are.. which I am too, it’s in my heart & soul brother!
I just haven’t let that side of me out yet!
Don’t know about you, but I’m deeply into the 80’s/90’s & good ol’ solid Rock n’ Roll!
Just wait ‘til I cut that part of me loose! -probably get banned from TDF in the process too!

TTYS!

[izla111]

Izzy works fine as a handle DM. I think you got a better mastery of language than you give yourself credit for. I don't do too bad considering that Spanish was my first language for the first 20 years of my life.
Yes it has taken me a long time to get life to be simple. Wishing you success in making your way to happiness DM!!!

¿Será cierto eso que estoy oyendo?
¡No me digas que también eres un paisano!
Como vas a creer! Jamás me lo hubiera imaginado hermano!
Pues fíjate que yo también hablo Español, tan bien como el Ingles.
Imagínate, crecí con el idioma -y después de vivir mas de 20 años en Miami!
Oye, ya sabes entonces, cuando quieras volar lengua conmigo solo me avisas y le entramos, sale!

I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while already but keep forgetting..
Another one of the reasons I consider you an inspiration and feel closer to you is because I noticed how totally into Music you are.. which I am too, it’s in my heart & soul brother!
I just haven’t let that side of me out yet!
Don’t know about you, but I’m deeply into the 80’s/90’s & good ol’ solid Rock n’ Roll!
Just wait ‘til I cut that part of me loose! -probably get banned from TDF in the process too!

TTYS!

LOL!!! Tu Espanol es mejor que mi Espanol. Lo leo mejor que lo escribo ahora

Thanks DM!!! I love music. My taste ranges widely. Looking forward to listening to the music you post.

[GraFXman]

• Chapter 2 (Part 2).
  ”Ultimate Challenge #2 ::: Against All Odds”
  
  
  
  I’m guessing that image about sums up the ‘scope’ & Theme of this final Epilogue to Chapter 2..
  
  “Dolls & Disabilities” – Pushing the Limits Of ‘Limitations’.
  I can’t count how many times I’ve read about TDF Members struggling with the unexpected heavy dead weight of their new Doll & all the difficulties in positioning/moving her around, often times just giving up and selling her shortly afterwards due to their personal limitations and/or multitude of pains from back injuries, other injuries, maybe from having an average physical build and/or strength, older age or other issues/impediments that ultimately make their Doll fall way short of their expectations for fun and/or pleasures and keeping her just not being practical for them.
  
  Well..
  Don’t know if this is similar to anyone else’s experience here, so far I’ve never divulged this openly and only confided in less than a handful of Members here about it.
  Considering it’s already been about 12 yrs. since I joined here, I’m already pushing the “Age factor” too at this point.
  And to further compound that ever increasing impediment, there’s this:
  
  I’m also Disabled.
  Yup, confined to a Wheelchair.
  
  For all those who can actually fathom the extent of what that truly implies.. and how it relates to dealing with these Dolls..
  Yea, you can surely imagine how that definitely raises the bar on some of the challenges I’ll be facing.
  
  I’ll just throw a few example scenarios & laughs out here for the hell of it to entertain & illustrate, no doubt you can probably imagine what it might really be like..
  
  Starting with the basics;
  - How in the World do I even lift her from the box, floor (or anywhere for that matter) from a seated position/wheelchair?
  I’m obviously on wheels, so even if I use brakes & could put my feet on the floor I still wouldn’t have any leverage or strength to plant myself and lift since my legs/feet are on a foot plate off the ground and about as useless as the Doll’s to begin with..
  
  I’d have to rely entirely on upper body/torso and whatever little ab strength I have left, without being pulled out of the chair just from trying to lift her..
  Yea, that sounds like a lot of fun doesn’t it !
  
  
  
  For comparison’s sake, try getting up from a deep sofa/recliner without using your hands to feel the amount of sheer leg/hip strength it takes -just to do that..
  Then, just for giggles n’ grins and even more of a challenge, get on the floor and sit on your legs until they’re completely numb.. then try getting up and moving around, only to watch them flop around like a pair of drunk sailors. Moreover, try doing anything without using or ever putting your feet on the ground..
  Yea, having a couple of totally useless limbs to drag around is a bitch alright..
  
  By comparison, amputees don’t necessarily have to deal with the same issues as those with spinal injuries and are more likely of having some advantages for overcoming obstacles, via prosthetics or such, as compared to Paraplegics (me) -or even worse, Quads.
  I’ve always wondered which would be worse or more difficult to deal with..?
  “The having, or the have not, that is the question” – as Shakespeare would probably say..
  Either way I guess we’re just really screwed in most regards..
  
  Assuming I could even lift her up.. then what?
  ? – How would I ever get her hooked up to the stand for example..?
  Sure I’ve given a few ladies “lapdances” on occasion just for laughs, but that’s very different from having a 5’3 Doll @75lbs of dead weight bearing down on me - then trying to get around with her while pushing a chair – more fun!
  
  
  
  I actually think that would look quite comical to anyone watching..
  
  Knowing me though, I’d join you in the LOL’s while you’re cracking up at the sight of me struggling with this situation.. just make sure to step in and help me out if I’m in trouble ok!
  
  Which brings up another twist of fate;
  For the most part, in my relentless pursuit of maintaining absolute independence whenever possible, I usually avoid asking people around me for help.. and in this case, DEFINITELY NOT!!..
  
  So for anything that I do with Raquel, I’ll always have to accomplish it all on my own.. it’s not like I can just call my neighbor, a friend, relative or whoever to come over and help me… NOPE!
  
  Essentially, from previous experience with my 1st Doll that was half Raquel’s size and weight, which was already difficult enough, I’m certain that moving Raquel any which way is always going to require a monumental effort when I can’t rely on any lower body/leg or mid-range strength to assist me.
  
  That, plus the fact that I’m also of relatively slight build, @ a modest 6’ft/164#.
  Granted, my upper body/arms are actually stronger than may appear, but still, not even close to some of my (wheelchair) buddies who’s arms are like freakin’ Popeye’s.
  Obviously they work out a hell of a lot more than I do! -my bad.
  
  
  
  I also LOVE going to the “Miss Wheelchair” pageants..
  There are some totally HOT-HOT Ladies there!
  Just wondering.. would you date/marry a girl that has some limitations..?
  (Not referring to the Mental kind of course, those are typically Psycho & come with Warning labels!)
  
  
  
  Be forewarned though.. a Lady like this one here for example will totally FUK*U*UP if you cross her!
  I should know ‘cuz I made that mistake -once..
  
  I guess this is certainly going to give me the hardcore workout I’ve been missing – and then some!!
  Looking forward to it in fact, getting off my lazy ass and get going again, so Bring-It-On!
  No doubt this will at least be a lot more fun than going to the Gym!
  
  Taking it a step further..
  ? – Assuming I can somehow manage to get her hooked up to the stand, then what do I do with her..?
  ? - How do I get her around and deal with even the most basic of care/maintenance stuff, etc. ?
  -- For all of you who have a Doll(s) – just think of what you go through during the various such routines you engage in with her – then try to imagine doing the same – without legs/lower body..
  
  ? - What about…. Ummmmm… like “Intimacy” type stuff..?
  
  
  
  Yea…. I can just imagine that..
  A totally inanimate & ‘unable-to-help-me’ Raquel, and a half-useless me like a slug on crack trying desperately to figure out how to navigate the treacherous road to reach the all-glorious Pound-Town Fiesta dance!
  Hmmmmmm…?
  
  
  I can’t decide which will be more Fun -or Hilarious!
  Flopping Raquel around, like fighting with chopsticks to grab the last two noodles at the bottom of the bowl, just to get Raquel into a manageable position without dismembering or killing her, or flopping my useless other half around for the same purpose.. or BOTH!!
  
  
  (I can almost feel you guys out there flinching at the thought of that!)
  
  
  
  “You can never un-see what has been seen, whether in your mind’s eye or otherwise”.. -Me
  
  So what do you guys think..?
  Should I maybe have an ambulance standing by.. and Reggie (Galmato Haven), just in case shit gets too wild & we both end up like..
  
  
  
  
  I swear, THAT would absolutely have to be one of the most hilarious things to watch -EVER!!
  
  Seriously, I’m so hard right now trying to imagine that I could be the poster-boy for the “crying/LMAO” emoticon, I’m even afraid I’ll bust a gut here in a sec and fall off this dam chair - then have to spend the next dam 30mins trying to get back up!!
  
  [Me]:
  HEY BRICK!!
  Can I borrow your camcorder! Lol
  
  Ummmm… Nope!
  Don’t hold your breath folks, I’m not posting any entertainment or ‘How-To’ vids about this on my PH Channel!!
  
  So if by now you have already thought (I know I did!):
  “DUDE! REALLY?"
  
  
  
  Are you insane, or just a gluten for punishment?
  What were you even thinking adopting such a large/heavy Doll??”
  
  
  
  Maybe all of the above …. or neither..?
  Nah.. all jokes aside (at least for a moment), I’m really not as much of a deranged lunatic as it may seem from my writings.
  
  I know exactly what I’m doing..
  The how/why -and what to expect when I got into this..
  Believe it or not, there’s reason and method to my madness..
  
  Seriously though, I know that any kind of interaction with Raquel is going to be major undertaking and a lot of exhausting effort for sure, it was the same way (to a significantly lesser degree) with my 1st Doll – HA! -or the Wife..
  
  I’ve read several posts from guys bitching about all the complications and extraordinary efforts they went through trying to get comfortable/intimate with their Babe, to the point where they felt it was either too much of a hassle, too awkward/weird, a total mood-killer and just not worth the effort.
  - probably not so different from dealing with some of those ‘live’ Women either..
  
  So it’s not like I’m naïve and don’t already know what to expect, but I think it’s a matter of perspective and it all comes down to how you choose to handle it.. or any situation for that matter.
  For me at least, no matter how tedious it may be, I just don’t let anything drag me down, so I actually look forward to it as all part of the fun that eventually could lead to great rewards.. or self-service, whichever comes first..
  
  Attitude in the face of adversity is everything!
  And my disposition is always striving to maintain a positive & cheerful demeanor whenever possible..
  So it’s not surprising why a lot of my friends call me “Sweet-n-Low” – or sometimes “Hey there Numb-nutz wassup!” because I’m always ready to “Hi-Five” and “Bring it on” rather than piss on everybody’s parade like so many miserable & constipated fuckers I know & see all around me.. and most of these A*Holes aren’t even disabled!
  
  In fact, my extensive use of “LOL” is not even for literary decoration at all, it’s my way of expressing how I truly feel at that moment..
  
  Ok so back to the Raquel situation..
  In my mind I’ve already endlessly thought-through in excruciating 3-D/CGI and THX surround sound details almost every conceivable aspect of the potential challenges/obstacles this endeavor might present.. and all the different ways I’m going to address & overcome them!
  
  
  
  Ever since the brutal injury which put me in this damned chair, literally everything in my Life, every single day, has been and will forever continue to be, challenging & a struggle in one way or another;
  From inaccessible public bathrooms, buildings, sidewalks, stores, restaurants, cars, most facilities, traveling in general, most of my friend’s homes, beaches, trails, events, sports, and the list just goes on and on..
  
  
  
  Now also compounded exponentially by the deteriorating & debilitating effects of age.
  
  
  So yea, I consider Raquel’s adoption as just another interesting & motivating Challenge, albeit a monumental one – to my determination, ingenuity, stamina and Indomitable Spirit to always push harder, further, strive for total independence and to overcome adversity, setting no boundaries (self-imposed or otherwise) despite my limitations..
  
  
  
  .. and to enjoy as much of a fulfilled & rewarding Life as possible while I still can, and maybe do things no one else has ever done -and many might even consider as impossible.. or insane.
  
  
  
  That’s always been my attitude and as a result I must say that I can be proud to have achieved some impressive milestones & various accomplishments throughout my (dis-abled) Life.
  
  
  ( This dude definitely has more balls than I ever will! )
  
  “The McGyver Factor”
  Ingenuity and Innovation have always been at the forefront of my every endeavor.
  
  
  
  I used to love watching ‘McGyver’ and enjoy seeing all the funny “Redneck Ingenuity” memes.
  I consider them as a form of ‘Inspiration’ and believe that over the years through sheer necessity and relentless determination I’ve become somewhat of a ‘Master’ at devising ingenious methods, devices and innovative uses of leverage/fulcrums, pulleys, balance, transfer/shift points, counterweights and so forth to overcome my physical strength/bodily limitations.
  
  
  
  As an ADA Consultant to Builders/Contractors & Businesses, which I do as a side-gig occasionally, I’ve got a ‘modest’ amount of experience/knowledge when it comes to different types of Engineering, configuring structures, assistive devices or whatever specific circumstances may require mods to accommodate different people & varying limitations/dis-abilities.
  
  
  
  In fact, another member here and I have been discussing coming up with a resource and “How-To” guide on innovative solutions for dealing with weight issues and other Doll-mobility challenges for people with one type of limitation or another who might be dealing with similar issues and circumstances like mine.
  
  Who knows, right..?
  I might even write a book!..
  
  
  
  (Man Oh Man! I can totally feel you cringing already at that thought )
  
  .. and maybe even become the foremost Authority on “Doll-ability”
  Yea…!!
  A real Legend (in my own mind!)
  
  Like I said previously, I’ve narrowed down one solid conclusion for sure:
  Aside from any other issues, like the “Wife” angle, if it truly comes down to it becoming the “insurmountable challenge” I’ve considered, I take solace in the fact that I can always put Raquel up for adoption again and probably recover a decent amount of my investment,,
  (“Hey Brick, you listening?)
  
  HOWEVER, there’s NO WAY I’m going to get intimidated beforehand or back down from this self-imposed challenge!
  
  I’m determined to give it my all and prove to myself the truth behind the motto I’ve always lived by:
  ”Where There’s A Will.. There Has To Be A Way!”
  -everything within reason of course.
  
  
  
  So who’s going to stick around to see how this goes and hang with me as I embark on this incredible Journey..?
  
  
  
  That’s about it for the end of this Chapter!
  I’ve totally enjoyed & had a lot of relaxing fun creating this entire thread/post, maybe some of you liked it too..
  
  Final Comments;
  - Like my Buddy Izla111 commented about “Heavy”..
  Sure, a lot of the subject matter I’ve exposed and some of the things I have to constantly deal with may feel rather “heavy”.. I get that.
  
  But hey, it’s my cross to carry -and will- to the best of my abilities like I always have.
  I’m just putting it all out there as I said I would, without reservations, for anyone who’s interested.
  I believe that sometimes looking at other people’s hardships/struggles helps put things in perspective and may even give some a boost of confidence/energy/motivation or whatever when contemplating any train wrecks or crap going on in their own Life – and how to maybe deal with them differently/better.
  
  Lord knows I do that on purpose all the time to reel myself in and get a new perspective when I’m feeling particularly dragged down with some shit..
  I always used to look at all the other patients around me while in the Hospital – some of which were in a 10x far worse (even horrendous) situation than I was – and I’d think to myself..
  “Holy Shit! Compared to Jack over there, a young kid with no arms OR legs at all (total amputee victim of a savage IED) -this ain’t NOTHIN! I GOT THIS!”
  
  So if from everything I’ve laid out on the table so far, if it helps just 1 person, no matter how minimal, to examine their own Life, refocus their perspective and better cope/deal with whatever they have going on.. then it was worth it to share some details about my World & my reality..
  
  In conclusion;
  I’ll see what happens from here on out when Raquel actually arrives..
  If anyone has some ideas that I could use or has come up with solutions for similar situations with their Dolls, by all means let me know!
  
  In the end, one thing’s for sure..
  If this challenge ultimately does prove to be “insurmountable” and ends in an Epic failure..
  I’ll surely say: “FUK IT!!
  At least I had the courage & 'cojones' to even try!
  - and knowing me..
  If I’m going down.. It’ll be in a Blaze Of Glory!!
  
  
  
  
  To wrap it up and not detract any further from the true meaning of this most honorable and solemn Memorial Day /Weekend..
  
  
  
  With the deepest and utmost degree of respect for my Comrades,
  To all the Men & Women from all Branches of Service
  
  
  
  I salute you in the most humble and honorable way I know how..
  
  
  
  !! THANK YOU – May God Bless you and yours always !!
  
  
  
  My Prayers that God shall always keep you Safe so you may return home soon!

[izla111]

I admire your spirit DM!!!

Your disability might actually give you a better perspective to how to manage moving Rachel around. IMHO, the dolls are such beautiful creations that they themselves provide the inspiration needed to overcome limitations. Check out this thread on CRD ... https://www.clubrealdoll.com/community/ ... etups.422/ ... Somewhere in there you'll find post of doll owners using power setups, lift, and rail systems. With your insight I imagine you could come up with some innovative solutions you can share with the rest of the community.

[GraFXman]

I admire your spirit DM!!!
Your disability might actually give you a better perspective to how to manage moving Rachel around. IMHO, the dolls are such beautiful creations that they themselves provide the inspiration needed to overcome limitations. Check out this thread on CRD ... https://www.clubrealdoll.com/community/ ... etups.422/ ... Somewhere in there you'll find post of doll owners using power setups, lift, and rail systems. With your insight I imagine you could come up with some innovative solutions you can share with the rest of the community.

Thank You Izzy!

WOW MAN!!
I checked out the CRD Forum, didn’t know you were so active there too!
I Thought I was “intense”? .. No Way! You got me beat there brother, Love the passion you put into this!
You realize that you’re slowly killing me with Erin’s posts, right! Lol
Can’t wait til Raquel gets here tomorrow!

AWESOME setups & suggestions you have there on CRD, saw tons of stuff that gave me some great ideas on hardware & rigs for possible solutions to my own particular dilemma!

We’ll see what I can come up with putting some good ol’ fashion “Redneck Ingenuity” into it! I know that I’ve got a LONG & difficult road ahead of me though..
In the meantime;
Here’s a few things that occurred to me right off the bat which will affect how I’m going to approach this..
1) Most of the ones I saw on there look like permanent setups (rails, ceiling hooks, etc).
Well, considering the “Wife” situation I’m dealing with, there’s no way I can build/attach ANYTHING permanent – anywhere.
2) Everything I may build HAS to be easy to move, disassemble and stash at a moments notice.. so I’m going to have come up with a few mobile carry and to hang her from type rigs that are sturdy enough not to fall over, but not too bulky to use and easy to take apart at the same time.
3) Carrying/moving her from one place to another somehow is going to be the primary objective for any rig I can devise.

I guess we’ll see, right buddy!