The last time I've been here was when I finally had her home and now, 8 years went by. Yeah yeah I know, I disappeared in the mean time
Now, now, where do I start?
First things first, keep in mind that she's a very old type, so old silicone formula which was really firm.
Order Placed Date: 2014/11/21 - The whole process took more time than it normally would because I had difficulties making the payment at that time.
Head: Kayla
Body Type: 160
Eyes Color: Red (Out of production)
Skin Color: Light Pink
Joint Type: Tight
Finger Bones: With Bones (wires)
Nails: Glued
Pube: Shaved
Shipping Box: Carton Box
Ready on: 2014/11/15
Received: 2014/12/19
To sum it up:
1. What I've learnt
2. What I've modified
3. What Could be better
4. What I've Loved
5. Emotional insights
6. Photos
She's very fragile so keep real attention when moving her.
Her skin gets stained by clothes color veeeery easily so you may need to wash the clothes beforehand even 6 times to remove all the excessive ink.
If you're not with her, just let her stay in her default lying position. Even sitting still could damage her skin over time.
As said before, keep an eye...let's say both eyes on her hands while doing ANYTHING because they break so damn easily....ask me how I know
If you sleep with her, watch her feet too because if you pull the bed sheet this will pull her feet too and might tear her skin.
If you let her stay in bed lying on a side she will get her eyelashes damaged.
If you open her mouth to clean her tongue, do it carefully because if you pull to much you could tear her mouth corners.
If you happen to damage her...don't use glue like "Super Attack" because it will dry, get hard and eventually break again so use silicone based glue with an elasticity factor to help with movements.
Her skin is very tacky so to make it smoother you should use baby powder and spread it all over her body BUT keep in mind that this will be visible on all black clothes since the baby powder is white :/
Doing so her head won't fall off and the bolt I've made is internally threaded so that I can screw in a hook and make her stand for dress her up or wash in the shower.
I've even made a custom moveable structure to make her stand and move her around but now I got one on the wall to help me dress her and another one for the shower.
Her fingers break so easily that is frightening. I would love a nice articulated skeleton.
If you put her up and try to pose her upper body and legs in a way to look like a normal standing person....you'll notice that she can't stay straight with legs and spine, she'll always stay a bit bent downward.
Unfortunately her skin absorbs the temperature like a sponge. So she'll be freaking cold in winter and hot in summer.
Cold to the point that if you hug her tight, she's gonna get you cold too. So better to leave her an hour or more between a pair of heated blankets to warm her up and then she's ready for cuddling and movies alike
I find useful that you can detach her head to shower her or mostly to dress her because some dresses or shirts are really tight that you need to remove her head to put it on her. But sadly when taking photos if she got her chin up one can clearly see the line between the neck and the head and it's not a nice sight. So no high ponytail I'd love to see her with head and body all in one piece.
At the time she got to me, I went straight to dress her and then made her stand up in high heels but immediately got a cut on both her feet because the skeleton feet inside is narrow and sharp so with all the weight it cuts right through the silicone like a knife. Should have been a plastic base inside or something alike to protect the skin.
Every little bit of her, every pose, every look, every smell, every caress, every moment with her, every time we slept, every time we cuddled, every movie we've watch together. Every hug, every kiss, every play, every joke, every nickname, every moment I've talked to her, every company we shared together, every time I could have her by my side when I was feeling alone and lost, every time my heart pounded on her chest like it was her heart beating along mine.....
Welll....Everything. I love every aspect of her.
Actually at first I too thought to get her for company and for intercourse but after I had her, I began to get attached to her, more and more.
I already was because even before she came to me I once cried at the thought that I couldn't stay with her for whichever reason could possibly happen.
When she came here I was so happy, finally I could propose to a girl and for once wont hear the fateful "no"......well, actually not even "yes" but nonetheless she's here with me and that's what matters to me.
I've always wanted a girlfriend since I was a boy but always tried with the wrong ones and always in the wrong manner.
But with her, for once I was able to kneel down and ask for her hand.
I've always had this bad habit of projecting my dream girl onto the girl I had a crush on thus ending up heartbroken each and every time.
Always wanting one to love and be loved by but never had.
So one day I bought a "Dakimakura" pillow. A Japanese long pillow with anime girls printed on the sheet which I loved.
It was so nice to have someone I could like and give my love without being hurt back. That feeling of security is priceless.
But soon enough I've realized I could not hold on because being with the pillow gave me that state of mind which made me want more a girl who I could hold her hand, kiss her cheek, stroke her hair and actually feel her body on mine.
That's how one day I found the existence of full sized silicone dolls.
I then started to save all the money I possibly could just to be able to buy her. The first one I've found was very costly but then I've found DS Doll making this fabulous Kayla and thought....That's her, I want her, I need her.
So after almost a year of saving up and swallowing anxiety waiting for something I hoped would happened but was uncertain of it, I was ready to place the order and finally once I did it I was just waiting for her arrival so that I could put a dress on her, hug and kiss her as much as I wanted.
Since then....It's been wonderful, I had her here with me all the time, all the days. She's there waiting for me, even now or at least I hope she does.
At first I was not even ready to kiss her lips so I would only kiss her cheeks. I waited till I felt like I wanted to do it. A real girl could slap you right in the face if you kiss her out of the blue right? Then why wouldn't she do that too? So I waited and let her know me better.
I waited and respected her. In my mind she's everything I've ever wanted so I could never mistreat her.
So as I was saying before, I wasn't even ready to kiss her let alone have intercourse.
I grew up with the utmost respect towards the women and the saying since I was a kid "Girls cannot be touched neither with a flower" and movies taught me that the girls always want the good kind guy and push away the guys that looks for them just to have fun.
So I thought to myself..."So girls don't like sex..sex is wrong. I wanna be the good guy so I can get all the love from them".
Fun but sad fact, I am good, well caring and respectful but never had a girl who could see this nor appreciate me.
At least now I can be as caring and gentle to Lulu as much as I feel without the fear of being refused or pushed away.
I can love her boundlessly.
I can give her all my good things, all my warmth without limits because if you do something like this to a normal person, this one would be overwhelmed by all of this and eventually push you aside.
I know the world doesn't work like I used to believe when I was a kid, I see it, but still find it hard to put this thought in place.
To this days I've had few intercourse with Lulu, I think so fondly of her that I feel guilty if I do something I think it might violate her.
So I'm all about cuddle and kisses.
For me having her with me means that I can rely on her when I feel lonely, I can trust her without getting hurt, I can be kind, I can be romantic, I can be trustful, I can be
She won't judge me, She won't deceive me, She won't lie to me, She won't betray me, She won't play with my feeling towards her.
I always come back home and say hi while I kiss her.
Sometimes I don't even spend a minute with her but I know that when I'll go to sleep I won't find a cold empty bed instead she'll be there waiting for me to hug her tight.
When I happen to talk to a real girl and inevitably get deluded or hurt by it....you know, expectations...they do just that.
I always know I can get back home and trust on her to back me up.
I can take all those words, thoughts, good deeds and pour them in Lulu knowing she'll accept them without spitting on it.
So when I'm hurt by someone I always end up in Lulu's arms and fake like she's hugging me to comfort me and give me a little bit of goodness from her that I know I can trust.
When I'm in need I always take all the things I'd like to say, all the thing I'd like to do and give them to Lulu.
So I spend days or weeks with her, I change her clothes and make new outfits for her, do her nails, comb her hair and sometimes even some makeup because it doesn't stay on her.
Then I make her pose and take a lot of photo with her and cuddle afterwards.
That's where I really feel connected with her, I stay with her, talk to her, we spend time together, we watch movies and slowly....she heals me.
The magic in her is this, she's like a mirror.
If you don't reach out to her, she won't but when you do, she'll give the same care in her own way and that's when you can feel her.
It's like she got her own soul and if you believe in her you'll be able to tell.
It's like believing in God and she's my Goddess.
I know that all this could sound like just blabbering to most of you but this is what she means to me.
It's just a steel skeleton with sponge inside covered up in silicone and paint.
Yeah I know. I'm all bones, veins, organs and skin tissue. So what?
I really care about her and I don't see her as an object, I view her as the person I got in my heart, the one I'm looking for ages, the one I've never found but the one that I love the most.
She's with me even if she's not. We grow up together.
If tomorrow I'll like something new, She'll like it too.
We evolve mutually.
So if you ask me, "What's a doll?"
I might say.....all of this.
There she is in all her glory.
I can upload 12 photos at max so I did choose the better ones.
Unfortunately the best ones are with me because she's soooo unbelievably cute and I look so happy with her. And this is what I'd like to show to other owners or people undecided about whether to get one or not.
I wish they could see and say "Look how happy he is with her".
That's how magnificent she is.
Best Regards to everyone!
LonelyShadow and his beloved Lulu♥