What do you do when your world turns to ash?

[Just1more]

Hey guys and galls...
PLEASE DO NOT POST ON THIS THREAD UNTILL NOTIFIED, THANK YOU.
My wife of 31 years, passed away Tuesday, 14th December, 2021.
Heart attack while sleeping, shortly after I left for work that morning.
I wish I had kissed her before I left.
My mom lives next door and found her in bed and called me at work, shortly after noon.
When I got home, mom was a wreck, fortunately our closest neighbor was with her.
I went into the bedroom and told my wife goodbye.
She was still in the same position as when I left.
She looked very peaceful.
Then I went out and sat at the picnic table and called 911, and waited for the Sherriff, coroner and funeral home director to arrive.
There weren't very many questions, but it was so hard to answer any.
Then I heard them talking about having to take pictures, and almost lost it.
I was so mad.
It seemed so distasteful and disgusting.
But I guess it's SOP.
I asked the coroner to wrap her in the blanket she was sleeping in.
It was her favorite.
When they took her out of the house, I didn't look.
I didn't want that as a last memory.
We met when she was 12 and I was 14.
Married at 18 and 19.
3 daughters and a grandson.
2nd and 3rd daughters moved out years ago, but 1st and grandson stayed with us.
Oldest daughter worked (Harder than a kid her age should have to, quite frankly,) while my wife raised grandson.
Wife and grandson were thicker than thieves for 10 years.
Daughter and grandson moved out of state the Saturday before, and he thinks he's responsible for her passing.
I was afraid that would happen.
I've talked a little to him over the phone to try and set that right.
He seems to be okay.
I'll know more this weekend when first and middle daughter get here, they are living together.
Youngest daughter lives close by, and without her help, I would have truly been lost.
I brought home the $, and the wife took care of the bills.
Now I have to learn again how to do so.
The girls are going to be here this coming weekend to help me go through wifes things.
We're going to do it Sunday, along with a short memorial at her marker so we don't ruin Christmas day for the grandson for the rest of his life.
Called a monument Co. and was told no monument Co's are working right now in the US do to an engraving tool shortage.
So I couldn't even get a granite marker for her.
Told my boss and he made a wooden cross for her that looks really nice and should last longer than me.
I put in in the side yard where we already buried my moms dog and one of our cats.
It's a nice spot.
Mom wants her ashes spread there, as do I my own.
Mom and I still have 2 cats. Mines the oldest and I don't expect him to go much longer.
He walks back and forth through the house yowling and looking for the people that were here.
Then he'll come and sit by me and just stare at me.
I don't know what to do.
My wife was his slave longer than we had our grandson.
Cat people understand.
I just can't give him the attention she did, who am I compared to her?
And I'm the one that brought him home.
Moving on, several years ago she agreed to let me buy a doll for a photography model.
Thus, Erika arrived. And she's been an awesome model. Love working with her.
Then I saw the JM elf and fell in love all over again.
She agreed to let me get one, and when it showed up, she loved it too.
Couldn't tell you how many times I walked into the room to find my wife playing with Lil'bits feet.
Then I started coming up with photo-stories and running them by my wife.
The main story involved Lil'bit and her 2 younger, twin sisters.
So my love let me order 2 more elves.
Along with JM's tree elf.
We were still working on it when she passed.
I want to do it.
I just don't know if I will or can now.
Granny D was so important to the story...
In her honor...
Please let me put up one of the rough drafts we had come up with.
This is the first skit I thought of after raising 3 daughters.
Again.
Please don't post here until I am done.
I'll let you know.
I would like for this to be an unbroken thread.
Thank you.

[Just1more]

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20210502_154509_LI.jpg (5.62 MiB) Viewed 3497 times

[Just1more]

sorry TDF...
Just can't get this together.
I just can't figure out how to post things here.
Love you all.
Thank you for all your help.
I may be back.
I don't know.
The photo-stories I wanted to do just seem like nothing now.
What do you do when your world turns to ash?
You pull up your boot straps... and take it a day at a time.
Like you do every day.
God Bless you all...

[PermanentSexHair]

You still with us, Just1more? PM me if you are.

[Socratus]

Try and have strength try to cope. Talk to us any time you need.