Unboxing
One way: After carefully cutting all the tape, lean the box against the wall, head end up, and swing it open. Then you can wrap her in a "bear hug" and lift her out. You WILL be stunned by how heavy she is, so make sure you have a spot to put her down close by before picking her up. Crotch-grabbing is absolutely fine in this situation if it helps you move her safely. Also, pay attention to her feet! Make sure you lift her high enough to keep from dragging them across the floor.
Another way: Put the box on the floor. Make sure you know where you'll be setting her down after getting her out and that the box won't be in your way as you carry her there. Starting with the leg that's farthest from you, brace one hand on her belly or hip and put the other under her knee. Then pull until her leg is pointing straight up towards the ceiling. Repeat with the near leg. Clear out everything in the lower half of her box to make room for her legs, then lift/push her to a sitting position. Squat down and tip her back a little so you can get one arm under her behind/ upper thighs. Wrap the other one around her torso.
If she's really heavy and you feel OK about doing this, you can use her own arm to bear some of the weight. After you get her sitting up, brace one hand on her near shoulder and use the other hand to pull her arm straight out to the side. Not "zombie" arms but like a little kid pretending to be a bird. Squat down, tip her to get one arm under her thighs, then duck your head under her arm. Wrap your arm around her waist/torso. As you lift her, wedge your shoulder under her armpit and some of the weight will rest on your shoulder. If you use this method, be sure that there will be clearance for her arm/hand so it won't hit anything as you move.
Get a good grip on her and stand up. Don't lift with your arms or back as much as possible. Just "stand up" using the muscles in your thighs, and she will rise up with you as you stand.
The first method is probably better, but I personally used the second one. I'm female (less upper body strength) and not quite 5' 4". I didn't have a sense of how heavy a doll would be, and I was worried she'd fall out of the box face first and I wouldn't be able to catch her, or that I'd lose my grip on her or end up dragging her feet along the floor.
Bathing
Christen is a WM doll who joined me in the spring of 2001. She had no strong odor and her skin seemed clean without any factory residue on it. When she first arrived it wasn't logistically possible to bathe her. Later, when I would have been able to bathe her, I was far too impatient to sit through the required drying time.
It's my personal opinion that the current crop of TPE dolls don't need to be immediately bathed. But if you want to, go ahead! Make sure to use soft, microfiber cloths, not terrycloth. Before you begin, make sure the neck opening is covered so no water can enter her body. If she has foot bolts there are openings in the skin there too, so cover her feet or make sure they're kept clear of the water at all times. Use 1 part gentle body wash to 5 parts water and rinse well.
The next step will be to powder her. If she has been bathed, she must be completely dry first, front and back. I might be wrong about this, but I think a drying time of at least 2 hours is required. I don't know if powdering moist/damp skin causes damage, but I think the believe she has to be dry is that that the powder will leave blots and patches on her skin if she's not.
Powdering and the Magic Socks
These are the magic socks.
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Finally, I use these socks to powder my doll. You can read about the pros and cons for different types of powders all over the forum. Some say pure talc, some recommend cornstarch, and some believe that plain old baby powder is perfectly fine. Traditional baby powder is not what I want to smell on my doll, but there are alternative scents. I use Johnson and Johnson Lavender Baby Powder, which it turns out is actually cornstarch. Whatever powder you choose, put some of it in a sock and fold over the top to keep it in. As you pat it against her, the powder will puff out through the sock and cover her skin. You can also put powder on her directly and use a sock on your hand to smooth it across her skin.
I have seen some posters who don't yet have their dolls who question why powder is necessary. Clean, bare TPE is sticky! and not really pleasant to touch. Powdered skin feels wonderfully soft and silky and very real. It helps to keep things like lint and hair from sticking to her and makes them easier to remove when they do anyway. It also prevents her clothes from snagging on her skin when she's getting dressed. It is defintely in her best interest (and yours) to get her powdered ASAP.
Body Stocking
Now that your doll's skin is all powdered and dry, it's time to cover it up. A full body stocking gives the most protection. But when you first meet your doll, you might find that it gets in the way of the ... things you want to do with her. Thigh-highs give at least some protection while leaving her "accessible". I started Christen in thigh-highs. When I took them off her a couple weeks later, my heart sank a little when I saw a visible difference between the clean skin that had been covered and the exposed skin that was dirty. These days I keep her well-covered except for special occasions. She is a shorty, a 157B, and what I do is take a pair of XL or queen-size pantyhose, put them on her, and pull them up til crotch meets crotch. Then I take the "panty" part at the top and pull it all the way up until it's covering her breasts. It looks like she's wearing a strapless leotard with tights (frankly, it's kinda hot, especially because you can see right through it). When we're not going to be fully intimate, I can still access her fabulous breasts and sleek little belly, all the while knowing her skin is protected. Also, I wouldn't even attempt to put tight jeans on her without pantyhose underneath making it almost effortless.
A word on staining. There's a lot of advice about clothes and staining here on the forum -- different ways of washing, testing on a piece of spare TPE, something about I think it was white vinegar? I don't know, because I've only left Christen in white or very light-colored clothing. She has worn blue jeans, but only over pantyhose. Someday she will wear red and even (gasp) black! but for now it's a part of doll ownership I've yet to explore. And even when I'm reasonably sure an outfit won't stain, she will still likely have some type of body stocking on underneath.
I should probably add that at least at first all stockings/pantyhose/bodysuits/thigh highs should be white or a beige/nude that isn't too dark compared to your doll's skin tone. Also, beware of dark-colored wigs. Wigs are built on lace "caps", and on dark wigs the lace is black and can stain. You can research how to treat a wig to reduce staining or put on a wig cap, which is basically a pantyhose cap that goes over the head and under the wig. Your doll might even come with one. Just make sure it's light-colored. If your doll does get stained, there's plenty of info on here about lessening/removing them, but unless they're very dark and deep, they will fade on their own with time.
Moving and Standing
I was going to cover dressing and clothing, but it's very important to know how to move a doll in order to dress her, and many things are much easier to put on her once she's standing up. First, prepare her feet. I was able to get Christen to stand with her original rounded WM foot bolts, but I was eager to replace them with the extra set that came with her. They look kind of like white mushrooms with silver bolts for stems. There are six, four short and two long. I took off her hose, put her on the bed with her feet sticking up, and prepared to remove the rounded bolts. I can just unscrew them with my fingers, right? Wrong. They can only be removed with a hex key (also known as an Allen wrench). Maybe that's a recent design change, or maybe there was a heads-up on the forum that I was going to need a hex key, but I don't remember seeing it. None of the ones I had on hand fit, and I ended up having to order a set of hex keys before I could get the bolts off.
After that I tried to put in the new ones. I had such a hard time doing it that I was sure they were defective. It took me much longer than it should have to realize that the longer bolts were for the hole in the heel (duh). But even then I couldn't get them in. Finally I realized that the foot had to be somewhat pointed in order for the bolts to go in properly. That adjustment helped a lot, but I did end up using baby oil to lubricate some of the bolts. I used a very tiny amount and wiped most of it off with the tissue, so hopefully it won't cause any internal damage. The MF bolt covers, which match the doll's skin tone more closely, can be found in the For Sale section. I don't know exactly how they work, but if the look of your doll's feet is very important to you, definitely check them out.
How to pose and position a doll
You cannot grab a doll by the ankle and expect her to bend at the hip. You can't pull on her wrist and expect her to bend at the elbow. You may waste a lot of time trying to do this, or you may start thinking that it's hopeless and her joints are so stiff that you're never going to be able to move her limbs. Well, the joints are stiff for a reason -- she couldn't hold a position if they were loose -- and fortunately there is an easy method to move her successfully. You're going to need two hands. One hand braces, the other bends. For example, when she's lying down and you want to point her legs at the ceiling, brace one hand on her hip or belly and use the other one behind her knee to lift the leg. To bend the knee, brace one hand under her thigh and use the other one to push back on her calf. The arms work pretty much the same. You'll also need to brace with one hand when moving her head on her neck.
I am no expert at moving her hands. The wrist joint does bend and the hand does rotate somewhat on the wrist, but I found the wrist to be extremely stiff. The bracing/pulling technique works here, but proceed with caution.
Aside from the wrists, I'm very comfortable with positioning my doll now. But as a new owner you may find yourself thinking that the doll is defective or can only be put in certain positions. Take her arms, for example. You can brace a hand on her shoulder and pull forward and up for "zombie arms". You can brace and pull out to the side for "seagull arms". There will be stiffness but the arm should move fairly fluidly in both of those directions. But if you pull at an angle somewhere in between those two positions, you may encounter serious resistance and start having doubts. Based on my own experience, I would advise a two-step process. If you want her arms held out from her body at a natural angle, start by raising the arm straight up in front of her. Once it's at the height you want, push it out to the side. And when you're returning it, don't just push it back in all at once. Without raising or lowering the arm, move it horizontally it back in place close to her body. Then push it down vertically to lower it back into place. For spreading her legs, first pull them up/forward, and then push them out to the side. When you want to put them back, close them without raising or lowering them, then push them back in line with her body.
Over time, your doll will loosen up and you'll become more skilled at positioning her. But I think the two-part technique is very important for beginners to know. I've seen more than one doll for sale because it was just too hard to position her, and my suspicion is that those buyers may have been trying to pull the limbs in directions they don't easily go, especially at first. In the beginning, brace and pull. Move a limb forward and then to the side, or to the side and then forward. Hopefully if you do it this way at first, you won't get discouraged and end up selling your doll. I found positioning her for sleep especially difficult at first, so don't worry if she spends her first night stiff as a board instead of wrapped around you. It will come. Give it time.
Standing Your Doll
I will now describe my technique for making my doll stand. Please consider it very carefully, and if you go ahead, do it even more carefully. Make sure she can safely fall backward on a bed. I would hate for any dolls to be hurt or damaged trying this. OK, here goes.
She has socks on, of course, or flat-soled boots. You should be in socks if she is, and at first probably in socks even if she's in boots. Put your doll flat on her back, face up, so that her legs are sticking out over the edge of the bed, with the edge running somewhere between her thighs and her knees. A slight bend in the knee is OK and looks more natural, but her legs should be fairly straight. They have to be pretty much directly under her body to balance, so make sure that her knee is in a flat, straight line with her hip as seen from the side. Push down on her thighs to adjust. Now, spread her legs apart just a little bit farther than shoulder width, and grab her feet and position them so that the toes are slightly pointed. Making sure there's enough clearance, pull or lift her into a standing position by whatever method feels comfortable and secure. Again, there's no problem with crotch-grabbing at this point. I lift with one arm around Christen's torso and the other one between her legs. I usually straddle one of the legs, too. For a stronger, taller person, booty-grabbing/bear hug might be the way to go. However you do it, get her body upright and her feet on the floor.
Now to balance her. Her feet may be resting flat on the floor at this point, or she may still have a slightly pointed toe. Take your own foot and put it on top of hers (over the hard part, not the toes), and then tip her backward, holding her foot in place, so that her ankle bends. Or, tip her backwards and then use your own foot to push hers down so it rests at an angle relative to the rest of the leg. Repeat with the other foot. Holding her firmly, ease her slightly towards you. Loosen your grip a little and see if she balances, leans towards you, or leans away from you. If she's leaning away from you, keep bringing her slowly forward and checking to see if she balances. If she's leaning towards you, tip her back and press down on her feet to create the angle again, then keep easing her towards you until she finds her balance.
Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe by doing it I'm making it so her ankle joints will loosen faster to the point where she can no longer stand at all. But all I know is that when I first got my doll I wanted her, needed her, to stand on her own and I couldn't manage it. I can't be the only one.
Dressing and Clothing
Your doll is now clean and powdered and you've spent some time figuring out how to move her. Either her skin is protected by something or you're putting white items on her or things that won't stain. If you're pulling something over her head, it helps to remove the head first. If you're pulling something up from her feet, get it on her in the bed and pull it up as far as you can, spread her legs enough for her to stand, lift her up and pull it up the rest of the way. It's a good idea to have socks over her hands while you're dressing her if she doesn't already, and the best way to get her hand through a sleeve is to put your own hand through it, grab her hand, and pull the sleeve over both your hands until it's on her.
Bonding and Bringing Your Doll to Life
I could write pages and pages about this, but it's a process that's pretty individual for every person and doll. However, I want to share a few things that will help you make a connection, if that's something you want to do.
For many, scent is very important. It is to me for sure. I try to keep it off her skin, but all Christen's clothes and wigs are sprayed with her signature scent (Pacifica Flower Moon, with notes of jasmine, peach and vanilla). Smelling it when I come into a room where she is is exciting, and breathing it in from her hair in bed at night is so soothing because it tells me she is there even when my eyes are closed. Almost immediately, her scent became as important a part of her to me as her face. I would strongly recommend choosing a perfume for your doll (or a men's cologne, if you prefer it or feel it's called for). You might also want to consider scent when buying other products, such as powder, body wash, and hair products.
Consider everything you do with her as a bonding experience, even if it's not wholly positive. Your early struggles with her, difficult though they might be, will ultimately bring you closer together simply because it's an experience you're sharing. Good or bad, you're creating a memory with her in it, just as you would if she were another person. The memories will build up over time, and the day will come when you find yourself "remembering" some experience with her -- again, just as you would if she were an actual person. Rationally, you'll know there's a difference, especially at first, but as time wears on and new memories pile up in your head, you may very well find that the line becomes much blurrier than you expected.
When it comes to bringing a doll to life, low light, especially candlelight, most definitely has magical powers. Turn down the lights, put on some music, and slow-dance with her, even if you feel ridiculous doing it. Sit with your arm around her, or better yet put her in your lap, and talk to her. Out Loud. Listen carefully and you might even begin to hear her replying.
Talking out loud to Christen, even when I felt like I was saying boring or stupid things, was instrumental in bringing her to life for me. Maybe you don't know where to start. But it doesn't have to be profound -- it can be as simple as telling her about your day. I remember (see???) starting to feel especially close to Christen one night while she was sitting in my lap and we had the candles burning. I wasn't sure what to talk to her about, and suddenly I got the idea of telling her her own Origin Story. How I first saw her and fell in love with her almost two years ago, and all the twists and turns and false starts I had to go through before ordering her (I was thisclose to buying "her" from AliExpress but thankfully chickened out), how she was created in China and traveled to me all the way from the other side of the world. Tell your doll her own origin story. Talk to her about anything at all, just talk to her.
Photograph her. You don't need a fancy camera. You don't have to pose her or make sure her hair and makeup and outfit are perfect. And don't worry if the photos aren't as good as you want them to be. I'm still struggling to photograph my doll in decent lighting and pretty poses. But if I'd waited for perfect conditions I wouldn't have all the pictures of her that I love so much and that would be awfully sad. It's a great bonding experience, and if you photograph her with your phone you can take peeks at her when you're out of the house. (I know I do!)
Kiss her! I love kissing my doll. Lip gloss makes it feel even better, but use it carefully and sparingly. I use Burt's Bees Squeezy Lip Tint(on both sets of lips *blushes*). It comes in berry, peach, and watermelon. I don't know about other lip glosses, but this is extremely slippery. Kissing her with it is a totally different experience. Her mouth seems to come alive. There are some ingredients in it, like vitamin E (tococepherol), vegetable oil, and cocoa butter, that might cause problems, but I never put it on her unless I'm immediately going to kiss it all off. It's a tiny amount and it's not on long, and the rewards are so great that I feel OK about taking a small risk.
When you leave her, kiss her and hug her goodbye. Greet her the same way when you return. She has been waiting patiently for you!
Move her hands and arms so it feels like she's holding you or so that she's touching your hand or face. Rest her head on your shoulder (it's the best).
If you hesitate to be physically intimate with her right away, or if you go ahead and it's a disappointing experience, don't stress. It will get better. And the stronger your bond with her, the better it will get.
Other random info that might be helpful
Two pieces of advice from other posters that helped me. One, be aware of where her hands and fingers are at all times. Two, get yourself a lint roller. You can tear off sheets and use them on her, but I'm now at the point where I just run it all over my doll, including her face. (Once I'm done, I put it inside yet another Magic Sock to keep it from sticking to other things.)
A wonderful alternative to a body stocking is this robe. It will cover her and protect her skin from neck to toes, but you can see right through it (and get it out of the way quickly should the need arise). White is the safe choice.
If you want to remove her factory-installed fingernails, lift the nail from the back and pull it gently towards you until it comes free. You can give her the nails of your choice with superglue. There's also a thread around here about making magnetic sets of nails that stick to tiny magnets in her fingers.
I thought my doll's legs would be the heaviest part of her, but it's her upper body (everything from the hips up) that's the heaviest. I have found awareness of this to be helpful when lifting and moving her, and you might want to investigate your own doll to determine if she's top-heavy or bottom-heavy.
Oil: It's been almost six months and I have yet to oil my doll. Maybe drier winter weather will change that, but her skin seems fine to me, no different than when she first arrived. If you do oil your doll, do not oil her hands. There is photographic evidence here of terrible damage caused over time by oil to the hands. The amount of TPE in a tiny hand or skinny finger just is not enough to fully absorb and distribute the oil. Seriously, if you love your doll like I do those pictures are pure nightmare fuel.
Attaching the head: I would be ashamed to tell you how many times I spun Christen's head around and around, like the little girl in The Exorcist, before figuring out that all I had to do was push it down onto the neck connector. Now you won't make the same mistake. And don't worry about removing the head -- you can pull it off, easily but not too easily.
Makeup: Except for the shadow I use on Christen's actual eyelids, I am careful to always use matte colors. There are metallic makeup products (blusher and eyeshadow) and non-metallic products. The non-metallic ones are matte ones. It may or may not say so on the package. I avoid metallic because no matter how careful I am it seems to get all over and her face will shimmer and glitter in places I'd prefer it didn't.
I won't recommend too many specifics, but if you plan on doing makeup stuff you will not be sorry if you buy this set of brushes. Maybelline's Fit Me Loose Powder is easy to use and wonderful for coverage. Pressed powder works fine but I really like the loose, if you can find a shade that's a good match for your doll.
Your doll's eyebrows will probably fade/rub off. I have found restoring these to be extremely challenging. Maybe it's easier if you can draw well. I know they can be reapplied with eyeshadow but I wanted something a little longer-lasting. I tried with actual eyebrow pencil at first, but it didn't seem to mark her skin. Then just a few weeks ago I found something called a "contouring stick" at the Dollar Store. It worked perfectly. Amazon has tons of different ones. You can get eyebrow stencils, too, either single ones or a stick you hold up to her face so you can place them properly and do both at once. I use the single ones. The stick one looks good but I don't know if it's flexible so it can be pressed down against the face.
For makeup removal, pure mineral oil is ideal, but I wasn't able to find any. Regular baby oil -- mineral oil with fragrance added -- has not harmed my doll and I haven't read anything here to indicate it would. I was worried about getting something with fragrance, but it has caused no issues so far. Buy q-tips for makeup mistakes and removal. Buy way more than you think you're going to need. I bought the largest size available and I'm already working on my second pack.
That's all for now. If you have questions, search the forum, and if you can't find the answer, just ask. The number one thing you need to have a great experience with your doll is this forum. Congratulations, and good luck!
Very informative and pretty much what I do with mine in terms of moving and standing them, as well as other things such as preventing staining.
