RevJack wrote: ↑Tue Oct 11, 2022 1:23 am
People who know me here on TDF know that most Vendors don't like me. I do not hesitate to call BullShit on their bullshit. When Coeros showed up on TDF it took a whole two days before I was tearing into them. Shockingly, they contacted me and thanked me for my comments, and made an effort to resolve the issue I raised.
Imagine my shock when they asked me to review one of their products. As long as they understood that a Reverend Jack review might make them cry, I'd do it. So they sent me their "New Design, Sex Doll Cleaning Kit"
https://www.coeros.com/product/top-sex-doll-cleaning/. And I tested the hell out of it.
So the kit shows up in a plain brown shipping box, no bells, no shiny advertising crap. That makes me happy, I don't want to pay for shiny slick ads that I have to recycle anyway. Good start, economy point for Coeros.
IN THE BOX: A white water pump, designed for aquariums, nice quality. Aquarium pumps have a notoriously long lifespan, I like it. Foreshadowing comment - the pump has four little suction cups on the bottom, how cute. Attached by a two foot long hose is cool looking custom designed and 3D printed douche nozzle with an outlet port. Before I can get pissed off at the tiny 15 inch outlet hose attached to the unit I see that they included a 40 inch hose and zip ties in the box. Good thinking Coeros, point for you. Someone will probably whine about having to change the hose (point deduction) but not me. The business end is a spiral fluted shaft with a single forward facing spray, two side sprays and 6 smaller holes in each of the flutes. Not a smooth shaft with a single hole in the end, someone definitely knew what they were doing when they designed it. Looking at it you can see that it is designed to both distribute and scavenge the water. At the base of the flutes the thick stopper of a collar is hollow with drainage slots over the entire surface to scavenge the water and direct it to the drainage tube. Cleverly and well designed, they knew what they were doing. What is
NOT IN THE BOX is a power supply, but it's just a USB wall charger, which I have a whole box full of anyway. Personally, this makes me happy because I don't want to pay for another USB wall charger when I have a dozen of them already. Point for Coeros.
DOES IT RUN?: So off I go to the bathtub, fill a bucket with water, drop the pump in, plug it an and watch it go! The nozzle has a single forward facing spray, two side sprays and 6 smaller holes in the flutes. It puts forth a large volume of water under relatively low pressure. That is exactly what I want. Too much pressure, like a shower hose would blow out a poorly secured TPE plug and force water where it doesn't belong, this looks like it is designed to substitute volume for pressure.
LETS TRY IT! Another item missing from the box is an inflatable alligator. Luckily I already have one, so I deployed my inflatable alligator under my girls shoulders to give her a slight angle. Not sure you need to do this, but it made common sense. In preparation I have two buckets, one with 2 1/2 gallons of soapy water, and a towel for spillage (that I did not need).
Also I injected my dear gal with 5ml of KY jelly water based lube and 5ml of an astroglyde/J-lube mix. KY thins out easily in water, J-lube does not. J-lube is a whole different conversation but it does not rinse out or off of anything easily. Adding water to J-lube just makes more J-lube. It's a bitch of a test.
BREAK FOR A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Quietly sitting between the doll and the alligator is a TPE plug and a jar of TPE paste to gently remind everyone that all the manufacturers and vendors are lieing to you and your dolls orifices are probably NOT SEALED. PLEASE get an endoscope and check every orifice on your doll. Water in the skeleton is a preventable cause of death. Protect your investment.
MEASURE YOUR DEPTH. Any way you want to, just measure the actual depth of her vag. I used the short hose that came with the kit and adjusted the nozzle to about an inch shorter. I inserted the contraption into her Vag and the large collar of the device made a nice tight seal. This is when I truly appreciated those four little suction cups that held the pump securely to the bottom of my bucket. No worries about it slipping around or out or anything. Love them.
Ensure the output hose is in the empty bucket and plug the pump in.
THAT PUMP IS QUIET! My aquarium air pump is 4 times louder, this thing is whisper quiet. Major point to Coeros. And it moves water. 2 gallons in 1 minute 46 seconds, that is some solid volume. Gave a 2 gallon flush with clear water, pulled out the device and did a Vag contents check... Clean. No KY of course, but all the j-Lube was gone. Even up at the end, in the crevices, and in the fun folds, no J-lube. I'm impressed. Was she wet, yes, but not wet enough to drip.
BOTTOM LINE: This little thing is fast, quiet, efficient, and makes no mess. Am I worried about cleaning a mess out of my doll? Nope, not with this thing. I'm impressed, and I did not expect to be. Would I buy this device, which is less than half the cost of the one by buddy has from a doll vendor - YES, Yes I would.
Will I recommend it to folks who are looking for a convenient, effective, water washing solution? Yes, Yes I will.
Will I convert the folks who don't use water, no. To each their own, but if you want to flush your gal with water, this is the best solution I know of, and I'll wholeheartedly recommend it.
This is where most reviews would stop, but I want more. I want her dried too. So I put the device back in, and removed the hose running from the pump to the device. I then jury-rigged 2 output hoses from my aquarium pump to the water input port. It was an inefficient method involving squishing the hoses and some electrical tape, but it was a test. And as a big fat bonus, it worked.I put the output hose into the output bucket and out came a stream of bubbles. Success!
So I rigged one opening with the Coeros device and two aquarium hoses, and the other opening with my standard solution of two aquarium hoses and a cage butt plug. And I left.
When I came back, both holes were dry. The opening where the black Coeros device was inserted, at the seal around the collar, the opening was damp because if the seal. One pat with a paper towel and she was dry as a bone. I will design a way to connect my air hoses to the input, using T fittings or something because that presents as a total wash, rinse, dry solution. I will also challenge Coeros to engage their clever little engineer for a more elegant solution.
So in spite of my expectations, I like this little device. Quiet, effective, no mess.
Good job Coeros.
Reverend Jack.
