Help! my home has been invaded by an interloper from the Underdark!
She insists that she is now Matron Mother of my household, but I'm not sure what to do. At first she wasn't very impressed with the surface world at all and kept trying to strike me down with her sword - then there was the slapping and biting and hissing. I think she was just angry because her transportation spell didn't work very well. She said that she cast the Ultimate Planar Spell (UPS) in Menzoberranzan a month ago. Apparently it creates an extra-dimensional cube that she refers to as "Nymeria's Magnificent Box". She should have just entered the box and charmed individuals would unknowingly transport her on their backs straight to her destination. Unfortunately, the UPS didn't work very well and she ended up touring the surface world for weeks. Personally, I get the impression she was delayed because she got frustrated and killed a few people on the way, but she's not admitting to anything.
"Stop Complaining! - I only hit you with the flat of the blade and it barely drew any blood at all, stupid male!"
Uh, oh, I've been spotted....
"Come here, sit child and let me read you a story - you like stories don't you little one"
Okay.... (how old is she anyway? she talks like she's a hundred years old...)
"A story from the book of Lloth, I think you'll like it. As with everything the spider queen does, it's simply divine - have you been singing the glory of her name like I told you? there's a good jaluk" *she slaps me lightly three times on the cheek in an almost loving, but threatening way*
(that's some sinister look she's giving me)
"There once was a beautiful drow female who went to the surface world to subjugate the pathetic lesser beasts that lived there"
"She found the home of a hapless Rivvil male and made it her own.... but he FAILED to please her. He was stupid and did not DO WHAT HE WAS TOLD"
"... or bring her the golden trinkets that she desired....or praise the spider queen as he was instructed..."
"So she took out her sword..."
"and grabbed him by the scruffy hair on his head..."
"and she chopped him up into little pieces and wore his entrails around her neck all the way back to Menzoberranzan"
*she slams the book shut dramatically*
"The End... for now"
"Did you like that story? Do you know what the moral of the tale is?"
"DO NOT ANGER ME!!"
eep...
"Now have you seen to your duties?"
"Good boy. You may bathe me now"
I'll get some water then...
"Water! from the surface!" *hssss* "With twigs floating in it? and animal droppings from the great herbivores?"
(what does she think goes on outside?)
"You will use your filthy tongue to clean me - do not make me regret giving you such an important duty!"
*Glare*
" You will begin here..."
She insists that she is now Matron Mother of my household, but I'm not sure what to do. At first she wasn't very impressed with the surface world at all and kept trying to strike me down with her sword - then there was the slapping and biting and hissing. I think she was just angry because her transportation spell didn't work very well. She said that she cast the Ultimate Planar Spell (UPS) in Menzoberranzan a month ago. Apparently it creates an extra-dimensional cube that she refers to as "Nymeria's Magnificent Box". She should have just entered the box and charmed individuals would unknowingly transport her on their backs straight to her destination. Unfortunately, the UPS didn't work very well and she ended up touring the surface world for weeks. Personally, I get the impression she was delayed because she got frustrated and killed a few people on the way, but she's not admitting to anything.
"Stop Complaining! - I only hit you with the flat of the blade and it barely drew any blood at all, stupid male!"
Uh, oh, I've been spotted....
"Come here, sit child and let me read you a story - you like stories don't you little one"
Okay.... (how old is she anyway? she talks like she's a hundred years old...)
"A story from the book of Lloth, I think you'll like it. As with everything the spider queen does, it's simply divine - have you been singing the glory of her name like I told you? there's a good jaluk" *she slaps me lightly three times on the cheek in an almost loving, but threatening way*
(that's some sinister look she's giving me)
"There once was a beautiful drow female who went to the surface world to subjugate the pathetic lesser beasts that lived there"
"She found the home of a hapless Rivvil male and made it her own.... but he FAILED to please her. He was stupid and did not DO WHAT HE WAS TOLD"
"... or bring her the golden trinkets that she desired....or praise the spider queen as he was instructed..."
"So she took out her sword..."
"and grabbed him by the scruffy hair on his head..."
"and she chopped him up into little pieces and wore his entrails around her neck all the way back to Menzoberranzan"
*she slams the book shut dramatically*
"The End... for now"
"Did you like that story? Do you know what the moral of the tale is?"
"DO NOT ANGER ME!!"
eep...
"Now have you seen to your duties?"
"Good boy. You may bathe me now"
I'll get some water then...
"Water! from the surface!" *hssss* "With twigs floating in it? and animal droppings from the great herbivores?"
(what does she think goes on outside?)
"You will use your filthy tongue to clean me - do not make me regret giving you such an important duty!"
*Glare*
" You will begin here..."
